The forces that move us
by Stinepiiig
Summary: Clarissa is a biologist on Pandora, and she's used to being pampered and spoiled. what will she do when she meets the fiercest Na'vi on Pandora? It seems fate have tied them together, but problems will arise. Sorry for the wait!
1. Chapter 1A Strange World

Chapter 1.A: Strange Sights

AN: I hope you enjoy this story, it ended up being way longer than I'd expected :S please review and give me tips on how to improve :*

also, I recommend you go to my profile and read the "note" section since it gives some important information on the Pandora-universe in this series. You could probably do without reading it, but I really recommend that you at least skim through it to avoid confusion. I used to have it as my first chapter but I could see that a lot of people opened the first chapter and then stopped reading so I thought it would be best to move it to my profile.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing but my OC's

updated: 21st of September 2010

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I used my machette to chop off some small branches that were in my way, or rather: i tried. The attempt was an utter failure and not only did I manage to leave the branches completely unharmed, I also fell on my butt. I did my best to ignore the 5 chuckling soldiers behind me, but even so I could feel my cheecks growing a scarlet red with embarrasment. I muttered curses under my breath and got back up. "Sure ya don't want me ta help ya out Clarissa Baby? Them sticks are damn strong" mocked Jason. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him which caused the soldiers to laugh even harder. Ah well, I thought, I've tried worse. I tried once again to chop off the branches and this time I even succeeded, it wasn't executed with grace or anything like that but I got the job done. I walked into the clearing we'd had been heading for and heard the soldiers follow.

When we were in the clearing the soldiers spread out, holding their guns ready and looking warily around with tense shoulders, ready for combat. I just barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the picture, I knew precaution was necessary. Just yesterday Camp 761-Omega - our camp - had received a memo from the headquaters informing us that a soldier had gone missing from one of the other camps and that he was believed to be dead. It was probably true, after studying the nature here on Pandora for nearly 6 months I was more convinced than ever that this planet held no mercy for the weak - a heaven for darwinists. And I loved every second of it. I have always been into biology, and there wasn't much nature left on Earth to study so Pandora was like my own personal heaven - only problem was that it seemed to be out to kill me.

While the soldiers were busy checking the area for danger I looked around. The clearing was quite big, perhaps 500 metres in diameter. At the end opposite of where we were currently standing I spotted a small stream of water coming from the upper FLR - the 309 U-Alpha, which was approximately 300 meters above us - forming a small lake.

As I watched, two direhorses who had been drinking from the water caught sight of us and ran away. The clearing really was beautiful; huge colorful flowers bloomed everywhere and butterfly-like insects filled the air - only problem was that those butterfly-like insects really weren't that similar to the butterflies we know from Earth, these were more like mosquitoes. Very big and bloodthirsty mosquitoes, they were called "Pandorian blood-butterflies" and though they weren't all that dangerous it hurt like hell if they stung you. I pocked the nearest soldier - Nelson - and pointed to the pbb's to make sure he knew they were there. Sometimes soldiers do the stupidest things, like ignoring the pbb's even though they're perfectly aware that they're there, but they're all so busy looking for thanators. He nodded at me to signal that he understood that I wanted them gone. Nelson was new like me, he probably had no clue what they were.

John, the leader of the soldiers (don't ask me about his rank, I don't get any of that) yelled "Clear!" and the other soldiers followed his example. I'd been on enough excursions to understand that I was now free to conduct my research, and so I walked forward aiming for a big blue _huilo grandious_, one of my favorite Pandorian flowers. I was so focused on this task that I completely forgotten about the pbb's so when Nelson fired his gun at them to scare them off I was caught of guard and gave of a big yielp, enticing yet another round of loud laugther from the soldiers. I huffed and set to redoing my braid while I waited for my heart to slow down and for my cheeks to return to their normal color, which was unfortunately quite pale. My hand removed the hair elastic that held my braid in place and I quickly undid the braid. My long red hair swayed gently in the soft Pandorian wind before I redid the braid again. I usually kept my hair in a braid when I was out in the forrests otherwise it tended to get caught in branches and slow me down, not to mention all that trekking and marching through this humid air wreacked havoc on my hair. I'd tried keeping my hair in a pony tail but it still but caught on virtually every plant I came near so I kept it in braid. I could of course have cut my hair like the soldiers in my camp so often suggested, but I was much too fond of my hair to cut it. Besides, it'd take years for it to grow to it's normal length again, it reached the small of my back.

When I was done with my braiding - something that never failed to calm me down - the soldiers had taken found places to sit down while 2 of them remained standing in case something should happen, they were all ready for me to start my research. Normally we'd be at least two scientists out in the field together and usually I went with my mentor and foster-father Dr. Kirkegaard but today I was supposed to have gone with dr. Green, a physicist who was supposed to teach me more about the electrical impulses travelling between the roots of the plants, but unfortunately he'd fallen ill and all the others scientists were busy. There'd been talk of cancelling the trip but since all the soldiers had been ready to go it'd seemed to be a waste and so I'd been allowed to go alone - or as alone as you could ever be with 5 soldiers watching your every move.

I started gathering samples of different plants in the clearing and I persuaded Nelson to take pictures for me, he wasn't eager to do it but when I told him we'd be done faster if he helped he really got a move on. Sometimes I wondered why Nelson was even here, he didn't seem to like it. I soon reached the end of the clearing, I intended to take some samples from the small lake there so we could analyze the microbes in the water. However when I got there I saw something dark blue move in the bushes on the opposite site of the lake, behind the waterfall. I thought it might be a _aquais canine _, or in common words: a water fox. They were absolutely stunning, my favorite animal on Pandora. I stepped, slowly, into the small lake and waded across it. Behind me I could heard the John yelling after me "Don't go to far! And you should stay away from the bushes!"

John was a real sweetheart, but a bit overprotective, especially with me. But I suppose that was normal, most people have an urge to cuddle me because I'm so small and clumsy, i'm only 160 cm tall, that's 15 centimeters bellow the average height for women, I keep hoping I'll grow just a little bit taller but it seems pretty unlikely. Anyways, I liked John so there was no reason to make him worried, besides he was probably right. "Sure thing, I'll just take a peak" I answered and walked the rest of the distance to the opposite shores. I grabbed hold of a couple of branches and pulled myself halfway into the bushes .

Boy, was I in for a surprise. What I saw wasn't a water fox,it was a full grown Na'vi male lying on his side - and he was huge! This guy was definitly above 2 meters. His golden eyes were staring right at me, and though I'm no Na'vi expert even I could see that this guy hated the sight of me, his face was drawn in hatred. I was frozen in shock. I saw his hand move slowly to his thigh where I could see a knife, I gasped. And immediately Jason yelled:"Sugar, u okay in there? Not that I'm complaining about the view, you got one fine booty" I knew all I had to do was call out to the soldiers behind me and they'd come to my rescue.

I was just about to do so when I caught sight of some golden liquid on the ground, it was stragely distrating. I stared at it, trying to figure out where it was coming from when my eyes returned to the Na'vi and I finally saw the connection. It was his blood! He had a huge gaping hole in his chest, it was all I could do not to gasp loudly when I saw it. "Hey sugar? I'm coming in!" Jason sounded stragely distressed, but I guessed that was natural seeing as a hostile na'vi male was less than 50 cm from me, though of course Jason didn't know that. What do to?

Suddenly it seemed wrong to yell for the soldiers, they'd surely kill him. I didn't feel too good about getting a wounded person killed. I looked at his hand, it was resting on top of his knife, ready to draw. He hadn't attacked me though he'd certainly had the chance. That settled it. I looked at the Na'vi and slowly lifted my finger to my lips, he almost drew his knife but luckily he stopped the motion when I shook my head at him, God I hoped he understood what I was doing and didn't go for my throat.

"Oh that's nice Jason, now you chased the water fox away. Stay back will you? Maybe I can get it to come back. " I was surprised that I managed to keep my voice this even. I head Jason come to a stand muttering about how ungrateful all women were. The Na'vi looked at me, his eyes clouded. It seemed as though he might faint, but with the soldiers at my back there was nothing I could do, even if the Na'vi didn't put up a fight against the soldiers it was common knowledge that soldiers despised Na'vi - too many of their comrades had died fighting them – they might kill him just because he was a Na'vi. I backed out slowly, and went back to the soldiers. They looked at me suspiciously "It got away. Let's get back to the camp, i'm wet to the bone" I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the water, but it seemed to convince the soldiers and we headed back to the camp without any questions asked.


	2. Chapter 1B Trying to do the right thing

Chapter 1.B Trying to do the right thing

AN: so here's the secon part of chapter 1, hope you enjoy it

updated: 22nd of September

I spent the day analyzing the material I'd collected in the clearing, but my mind kept going back to the Na'vi. With a wound like that he was probably doomed. When I got back to my room I sat on my bed thinking. Thankfully I had my own room, I was the only one except for the camp leader who didn't have to share a room. Though for me it had nothing to do with rank, I was simply the only girl. I'd told them that I wouldn't mind sharing a room with one of the other scientists, or even sleep in the soldiers' sleeping halls, but they'd insisted and I have to admit it was nice.

I spent an hour thinking so much about the Na'vi that I couldn't even focus on writing a mail for Sam, my best friend who was a soldier in the headquaters on FLR 001-Alpha. Finally I gave in and decided to go back to the clearing to see if the Na'vi was there and help him if I could. But how? Pandora was a dangerous place at night, and even though our FLR 761-Omega didn't have any thanators - that we knew of - I'd be risking my life. God, I wished Sam was here with me. He'd have gone with me so I wouldn't have to do it alone. Sure, I liked the soldiers here. We got along great, I often ate in their quaters but none of them would let me go out into the Pandorian jungle at night, or go with me for that sake. I had no choice but to do it on my own, I couldn't let the Na'vi suffer.

I got dressed in my trekking clothes, put my hair into a pony tail and packed my gear in my belt, but put on a long bathrobe in case I met someone in the hallways. That seemed very unlikely though, we had no guards inside. I snuck down to the infirmary and packed some first aid gear into my belt as well. I had no clue of what would work on Na'vi's but I didn't have any better ideas. I went to the double sealed door that led to the outside. Reinforced steel, no way anyone would ever be able to sneak out that door. And it was programmed to never open at night. Thankfully, I had already hacked my way into the servers at this camp and memorized the administrator's password. No one had a clue, people tended to underestimate me because I was so small. I pressed in the code and opened the door. I moved outside, sealed the door behind me and left my bathrobe on the ground next to the door.

I pulled out my P-pad and punched in the coordinates for the clearing and it told me in which direction to go. I was in a hurry, this morning it had taken us around 2 hours to the clearing and 2 hours from the clearing. And I only had 6 hours until the camp awakened. I thanked the gods that Sam had insisted on making me jog 5 km every morning and then I set off. Thankfully the Pandorian nights are illuminated by all the plants so I could see where I was going, that didn't stop me from tripping a lot of times though, i'm just that clumsy. After a while I began to struggle to catch my breath and I could feel the breating apparatus in my lungs work extra hard to convert the Pandorian air to breathable oxygen. I consulted my P-pad every once in a while, I was doing better than I had expected. And I was pretty lucky too, I didn't bump into any vipers, thanators or other homocidal predators. I reached the clearing after approximately 1 hour, and by that time I was completely out of breath. I had run all of the way, 10 km! That was a new record, but it had it's price: I was thoroughly exhausted.

While I worked on getting my lungs to function normally I looked around the clearing, one of the few clearings on 761-Alpha. Wow! If this place was beatiful in the daylight it was abolutely stunning at night, all the flowers glowed and the insects too. If I hadn't already lost my breath the sight would probably have taken it away.

Once my heart settled down I walked to the lake and jumped in loudly, wouldn't want to scare him. "Um.. Hey Na'vi, I'm back, i just thought you could use some bandages and stuff" I kept talking untill I reached the bushes to make sure he heard me, but mainly to calm myself down. I was alone in the Pandorian night and very scared. I had brought a gun, and I knew how to use it, but i doubted I could draw it in time if something happened - besides, I had a horrible aim. I crawled into the bushes and my heart stopped. He wasn't there. Was he dead? Or had he somehow managed to get back home?

I had a bad feeling about this. I looked for him in all bushes, but all I found were traces of his blood. Then I finally gave up looking for him and turned around to go back to the camp, staring into the darkness between the trees. And then I just started crying, I couldn't help it. I thought of the Na'vi and how he'd probably been eating by some predator and how he must have suffered, and I cried for him. And I cried for me, I was so scared. Before I'd had a goal: get to the Na'vi. Now I was just alone in the jungle and the plants would soon stop glowing - they did that when the night was at its highest - and the forrest would be almost completely black, since the moonlight wouldn't be able to reach down below the trees. So there I was, crying my heart out.


	3. Chapter 1C Forces

Chapter 1.C Forces

Here's the third – and last – part of chapter 1. Enjoy

From my position in the tree I had seen the human female search for me in the bushes. I couldn't help but wonder why she'd come alone, in the middle of the night. Didn't she know it was dangerous? Not that I cared. But then I recalled what had happened earlier this day. She had found me - injured - in the bushes, and yet she hadn't told her comrade in arms. That I was sure of, I had not understood the words, but it had been clear to me none the less. My memories were vague due to the fever that had been - and still was - raging through my system. A thanator's claw was very poisinous, thankfully I had found the flowers that worked as an antidote here in this clearing. My life was no longer in danger - at least not from my wound - but I was still weak, it was only recently I had found the energy to drag myself to the safety of the trees. When I had seen her in the bushes earlier I had reached for my knife, ready to kill her. But then I had met her eyes, and what a remarkable eyecolor she had! I do not remember all the details but I remember that I felt reluctant to hurt her, what a stupid impulse, it must have been the fever. For a second I'd even thought that she was _**mine**__, _surely it was the fever, no human could ever be my mate. As these thoughts ran through my mind I saw the female turn back and start to walk away, but then she stopped. She stood still for a while, and I could perceive her shoulders trembling softly. Then I heard her sniffling. Was she crying? For some reason something deep inside me tensed painfully at the thought.

There was no longer any doubt as to whether or she was crying. She had fallen to her knees and was sobbing loudly, hugging herself and she seemed to be hyperventilating. Before I knew it I was on the ground heading towards her. I stopped myself. She didn't seem to have noticed that I'd jumped down from the tree. Then again how could she have? I could probably scream without her hearing it. The humans had so feeble insticts and senses and with her loud crying it must be impossible for her to hear anything, I felt a surge of anger towards these skywalkers who'd come to our lands and worked hard on destroying it. This pathetic human probably wouldn't even notice a thanator coming, she was so defenseless. It was then the instict inside of me awoke'_Get her to safety, defend that which is mine'_ impossible! Why should I be feeling protective towards a human? And call her 'mine'? Must be the fever. Yet even as I thought this I couldn't help feel worried that something should happen to her, it was ridiculous. I had every intention of turning my back to this hated human and crawl back into the tree, but then I heard her sob again. And the instinct all but yelled inside me _'get her!' _ This time I neither could nor would disobey my instincts. I turned back and walked up to her, even when I was no more than 5 steps from her back she heard nothing. I frowned, so defenseless, I'd had to stay near her at all times to defend her. The idea of being near her every minutes of the day made me quite satisfied. Wait what? I had no plans to stay near her, I'd just scare her off. Send her back to her fellow skywalkers so she's be safe. Surely she was very valuable to them, I had seen only a few females. This one was young, but probably already mated. _Kill him. _For a second I saw red, and rage made my blood boil. I even heard myself growl in warning, but to who and what for? My insticts were running amock. Surely it was nothing but a mix of fever and the fact that I hadn't had a female for several days. Yes, that must be it. I heard a gasp and a small scream. Slowly my sight cleared of the red haze and I looked down a the human who must have finally noticed me when I growled. She seemed scared, but I suppose that was understandable. I must look ready to kill. And I realized I was, but who I was supposed to kill I did not know. I could hear the female's heart beating erratically, and saw her grow even paler though I would not have thought it possible. I looked at her and was mesmerized by the bloodred shade her hair had and felt a sudden urge to touch it. In order to withstand the urge I balled my hands into fists and kept them at my sides. Slowly the human stood up, all the while making sure to not touch me, for I stood quite close to her. I expected her to run and had every intention of letting her run off - even if my instincts still whispered to me that i should keep her here, where I could see her, where I could protect her. She surprised me though.

She looked me briefly in the eyes, then lowered her eyes. She still wept, but it seemed to be slowing down. She smiled softly and hid her face in her hands while she took some took deep breaths. She looked up at the wound I had sustained to my chest. After a few moments she slowly lifted her hand and looked at me to make sure I followed the movement. When I made no move to stop her, she slowly reached into some sort of compartment in her clothing. I tensed, certain she would pull up one of the weapons of the Skypeople. Yet I still didn't strike her or tried to restrain her hand. When she noticed that I had tensed up, she gave off some crooning sounds, the kind a mother used to calm down her child. I frowned, not understanding what she was doing. When her hand came up from the compartment she held some white strips of cloth and a weird kind of jar that smelled strongly of skywalkers. She looked intently at me, though careful not to meet my eyes, when I still made no move she slowly opened the jar. She put some sort of oinment from the jar on her hands and closed the jar. Then she spoke

"Okay Na'vi, I'm gonna put this diseínfectant on your wound. It'll help, I promise. It's gonna hurt a bit, but please stay calm, it won't be for long. Though I guess you don't get any of what I'm saying." then she gave a nervous laugh. I'd only understood one word, though she had pronounced it with a horrible accent: Na'vi. Like the rest if my tribe I'd never learned the language of the Skywalkers, so what she hoped to achieve by talking to me I did nor know. I considered telling her this, but I figured it wouldn't help. Besides, I was still caught in the beauty of her voice, it was so soft and feminine. She looked at me again, and then she slowly moved her hand towards me, towards me wound. I caught her hand, I couldn't let her touch my injury, it was too vulnerable. She gasped when I touched her, and a mighty forced seemed to move through me. While I was standing there shocked I accidentally let go of her wrist. She sucked in a breath through her teeth and touched her other hand to the place I'd touched her. I looked and was even more shocked. The entire area had turned a bright red,and judging by the tentative way she touched it I must have hurt her. This horrified me. I hadn't meant to hurt her, I hadn't even used any force when I touched her. Even a skywalker should be able to withstand such a touch. And yet she looked up at me with scared eyes and slowly moved backwards, obviously preparing to leave just as I'd wanted her to. _Do not let her leave while she's upset with you, the damage will be difficult to mend_. I didn't argue with the logic I just reached for her waist_, 'gentle, remember not to hurt her' _ and I was gentle. I slowly put my arm around her waist and pulled her back to me, she seemed surprised, but she did not fight me as I had expected her to. I had meant to stop pulling her closer to me when she was as close to me as she'd been to start with, but once I touched her again, even through her clothing, that force moved through my body again and this time I recognized what it was: desire. _'touch'_ yes, i was meant to touch her. I pulled her tight against me, she was so small. How come I hadn't noticed before? She was much smaller than any of the female humans I'd previously seen, she wasn't even close to reaching my shoulder. I sucked in a breath, humbled by the feeling of touching her. This was not normal, how could anyone feel such desire for a skywalker? It almost sent me to my knees. It must have been the fever.

The female slowly pushed away from me and though my instict told me to keep her pressed against me I let her put distance between us, I did not know what I would do if I felt her body against mine for much longer. She did not put more than a hands length between us though. I could hear her heart beat fast and see her pulse flutter wildly in her throat and grew hungry for her blood, could see it color her cheeks though I did not understand why. I resisted the urge though, I did not want to mate a human female at all - especially not while suffering from a fever. She smelled sweet and.. Cold. Her smell reminded me of the snow I'd once seen while I was visiting the nothern tribes. Snow mixed with the most delicate of flowers. And while I held her a new smell had been added. It was like nothing I'd ever smelled before and it was making me crazy. Had she been a Na'vi I would've said I could smell her desire, but she was not Na'vi and this subtle, sweet smell she exuded was nothing like the sharp and clear smell a Na'vi female gave off when she wanted a man. And yet my body responded stronger to this humans smell than i have ever reacted to a na'vi's. After I drew a deep shuddering breath to calm myself,I looked down at the human. She was looking at me with a thousand questions in her eyes, and i doubted i could answer any of them. She took my hand and laid it just below her neck, and once again my body went crazy, but i sensed she had something to tell me so i pushed away my desire and focused on her.

"Clarissa"  she said while pressing both of our hands against her collarbone. Clarissa.. Was that her name? i had never heard it before, but it seemed beautiful to me. She repeated the gesture, and this time i said the foreign word - her name - with her. i was rewarded with a huge smile that made my heart ache. Then she moved our hands to my colllarbone - though she had not reach high for it - and looked expectantly at me.

"Ta'kamun" i said. She tried to repeat the word but failed. i smiled slightly and repeated my name "Ta'kamun" and this time the human - Clarissa - got it right. She gave another one of those bright smile and knelt down to pick up the jar she must have dropped earlier. She showed it to me and said "medicine" i repeated the word, but still didn't understand what it meant. She frowned and seemed to wonder what to do. Then she seemed to have gotten an idea. She reached for another thing in her clothes - a small knife. i looked at it suspiciously, somehow i didn't believe she'd try to hurt me - or that she'd succeed if she tried - but i had a bad feeling about this. She looked at me to be certain I was following - I was. She then made a small cut on the upper side of her arm. I didn't like that, didn't like having her hurt and without thinking about it I growled. Then she made that crooning sound again and took some of the oinment from the jar and applied to the wound and wrapped it all in a strip of that white cloth. Then I got it, she wanted to heal me.

Had she come back here to help me? _Mine. _I shook off the possessive urge and looked at Clarissa and nodded - and hoped it meant the same for humans. Apparantly it did because she smiled and grabbed some more ointment and slowly reached for my wound. It stung and I hissed in a breath but stayed still, Clarissa once again made that crooning sound - I was beginning to like it. Afterwards she wrapped my chest in a great number of those white strips, it was hard for her to do since she's so much smaller than me. When she was done she smiled brightly at me once again and I had to stop myself from moving closer to her. She turned around and looked into the forrest. She frowned, I followed her gazed and understood why, the forrest was growing dark. In a short time it would be pitchblack. She put her arms around herself again - like she'd done when she was crying - she was obviously scared.I felt an urge to protect her, at least until she could return to the other skywalkers. I put my hand gently on her shoulder - the red still had not faded from her wrist. She turned to me and looked at me tentavely. I pointed upwards and said "up in the tree" I put my hand over my heart and continued "with me". I wasn't sure she'd understood but she nodded and moved towards me. Now, how to do this? I knelt down with my back turned toward her and arranged my arms so that I could help her up. When she didn't move I looked back at her and made a movement with my hand that sigaled for her to come to me. She moved forward somewhat warily and touched my back gently. Damn her hands felt good against my bare back. I dragged her closer and arranged her secrely on my back with her arms around my neck. She gave a small yilp of surprise when i stood up suddenly "Hold on" I whispered to her though I knew she wouldn't understand. I started running towards the tree I'd settled in at a relatively slow pace to give her a warning. She wound her legs around my waist and held on tigther. Then I ran faster and used my arms to give me more speed, and when we got close enough to the tree I jumped up the the nearest branch. I could feel Clarissa hide her face in my hair and smiled, she was like a child. When I had us safely perched on "my" branch i put her down, but held onto her, the skywalkers had little balance. She looked down astonished, and a little scared. She moved closer to me and I couldn't help but enjoy it though I told myself not to. While we waited for the forrest to shine again we learned each other words. I taught her the names of our two moons, and of tree we were sitting in and the plants we saw and she taught me the names of all the strange items she was carrying. When the forrest started to glow again she signalled to me that I should help her down. And I did.

Though I felt more like forcing her to stay, these instincts were unnatural. It would be good for me when she was gone, I'd no longer be so confused. Yet when she ran into the forrest I had to fight hard not to follow her. She was so small, so fragile she wouldn't stand a chance if a viper went after her. I forced myself to stay, because I worried that if I followed her I wouldn't be able to let her go again. It was ridiculous and wrong, a na'vi could not imprint on a human. It was impossible. I turned my head to the sky

"Eywa, show mercy"

This first chapter was waaaay longer than I inteded it to be. Imagine this: in this version of the first chapter(which was so long I had to divide it into 3 parts) we're only with Clarissa and Ta'kamun for half a day or so, according to what I had intended this chapter should last at least 5 days :O

So anyways, hope you enjoyed it. Please review to tell me what was good and what was bad. Btw: do you think Clarissa should go to see Ta'kamun every night for a couple of days or should he disappear so the real drama can start right away? Choices, choices :P


	4. Chapter 2A Waiting to see you

So here's the second chapter – even longer than the first chapter :P I hope you enjoy it.

AN: from now on when we have human/Na'vi interaction English will be underlined and **Na'vi will be written in bold. **

Chapter 2.A: Waiting to see you

"Clarissa! Clarissa, get up"

I burried myself deeper under the covers. "just five more minutes…" then dr. Kirkegaard removed the covers. I groaned before finally rolling onto my back and looking up at my mentor "I'll expect you properly dressed and in the dinning hall in no more than 15 minutes" he told me with his perfect British English and then he left my room.

I stretched and forced myself to sit up. I rubbed my face and glanced at the clock which caused my to make another groan. It was only 7.30 am! I'd gotten back around 5 o'clock since I'd spent so much time looking for… ta'kamun in the bushes, and the trip home had taken longer than expected. In fact I was lucky I'd hadn't been just half an hour slower or I'd have gotten home around the time the soldiers got up and they would surely have noticed me.

I'd managed to force myself to take a shower before going to bed - it had been very necessary, I'd been all covered in mud and plant parts. Not the mention small drops of Ta'kamun's golden blood. So I hadn't gone to bed until 5.30 or so, which meant I'd only gotten 2 hours of sleep. I was utterly exhausted and my legs hurt from all that running.

Yet even so I managed to drag myself to my closet - when the professor said 15 minutes, he really meant 15 minutes. I pulled on some clothes: A shell coloured high waist skirt that ended just below my knees and a white t-shirt. On top I put my lab coat, complete with an ID-card that read: "Clarissa Thompson - Lab assistant" I glanced at the clock again. 7.37, I was in a hurry.

I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on a bit of facial lotion and brushed my hair. I left my hair loose, only fixing my long bangs to the back of my head using a silver hair clip. I didn't have time to do anything else, besides I prefered my hair loose. I checked the time again: 7.42. oops!

I grabbed my keys and a pair of black pumps while running out the door. I kept running until I reached the dinning hall where I put on my pumps and ignored the teasing and catcalling from the soldiers who were still in the dining hall, that meant they were either having a day off or were waiting to excort some of the scientists later. But even though I tried to ignore them I blushed heavily, I always do.

I walked to the table the professor was at and sat down opposite of him, he was the only one there. Breakfast normally ended at 7 am so everyone had already left.

"I'm so sorry for being late, it won't happen again" i kept my eyes down while I apologised. I felt so guilty for not living up to my obligations, I had received the priviledge of being allowed to join this expedition - which I knew the professor had fought hard for - and here I was, oversleeping. I owed Kirkegaard more than that. He had taken me in when I was only eight years old after the death of my parents.

"It's quite alright love, nothing to worry about" I looked up, surprised. The professor rarely scolded me, but he did usually emphasize how important it was to live up to one's responsibilities. The professor looked back at me with soft blue eyes. "It's the first time you've ever overslept or been late in the 6 months we've been here. I can cut you some… what do you youngsters say? Slack." he smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Kirkegaard had always been kind to me and even though I never called him father - i rarely even used his first name - I still thought of him as my father.

The professor was as pale as me - we both had european genes - and pale blue eyes. During the last couple of years he had started getting wrinkles, but he was not yet old. The professor ran the research in our camp, the main purpose for the existence of the camp actually, the soldiers were only here for our protection. Kirkegaard had played a major part in the development of the Avatar Programme but had chosen to spend his time on Pandora researching the ecosystem. He had arranged for me to come with him, he knew how much I wanted to. Normally I'd never have been allowed to join the expedition - I was only a first year Biology student at university after all, and even though I was good with technology I couldn't ever hope to compete with the tech-staff here on Pandora. Each and every one of them was an expert. I honestly had no clue as to how the professor had convinced the company founding this project to let me come and since he hadn't volunteered the information I'd decided not to ask. However, I'd heard the other researchers whisper rumors about how he'd refused to let them use the Avatars if they hadn't allowed me to go.

The professor offered me a bowl of mixed fruit pieces with youghurt - and of course some chocolate pieces as well. My favorite breakfast recipe. I smiled brightly at him "how'd you get the chocolate?" i asked while I ate. The chocolate was given only on special occasions since we had so little. "I have my methods. And don't talk while eating love" I muttered a sorry and finished my breakfast while me and the professor sat in comfortable silence, he was reading some reports on his P-pad.

When he saw that I was done eating he walked toward the laboratory and after depositing my bowl and spoon in the dishpile I followed. While we walked through the corridors he filled me in on what we would be doing today. Michael Green - my partner for yesterday who had suddenly fallen Ill - was still sick and I was to continue analyzing the material I had collected for him. It might take all day but I had to make sure I still had time to clean the laboratory utensils - as the only lab assistant that was my job, as well as running errands for the others.

Our camp was small, only 67 people: 32 researchers, 29 soldiers and 6 tech/maintenance staff. Normally camps didn't have that many researchers compared to the soldiers, but we were a research station so the soldiers' only job was to protect the camp and excort those us us gathering material in the wild.

Due to the fact that we were so few and had so few maintenance employees we often helped each other out and covered for each other. Everyone had a couple of days a month where they were required to help the cook, or clean the camp. So even though my official title was "Lab assistent" it would have been more precise to call me Lab assistent/secretary/cooking assistant/cleaning assistent/goofer. But I wasn't complaining, I enjoyed being on Pandora and having so many different jobs had made sure I hadn't gotten bored yet.

Besides, as a Lab assistent I wasn't allowed to have my own research programme - you had to be at least a professor to apply to become a "managing professor", which meant having your own programme as opposed to just helping others with their projects. But since Kirkegaard was the "Primary Managing Reseach Conducter And Professor" - which meant that he was the most important researcher involved in the expedition - he had arranged for me to have my own research programme - don't ask me how he did it though.

I worked with the Ikran's and their physiology, social patterns and behaviour. It was awesome! Of course I didn't have any goofers to boss around or anything, but Kirkegaard helped me out once in a while. I didn't get a lot of time to work on my own project since I had to help everyone else as well, but I enjoyed it even so.

Of course, some of the other researchers who hadn't had significant qualifications to become managing professor had been jealous and mad at me at first, and most of them still were. Or at least it seemed so, I was never good at understanding people. I prefer animals, their behaviour is so much easier to understand. A few had warmed up to me and I talked quite well with some of them. I'd considered talking to the rest of the researchers to try and become friends with them, but I was too shy.

When we reached the lab I immidiately started cleaning the lab utensils so we wouldn't run out of clean materials. Then I ran a few errands, but after that I started analyzing dr. Green's material and continued doing that for the rest of the day. It was quite interesting really, Green worked with the structure of Pandorian microbes.

Yet, even though it was some very interesting reseach my thoughts kept going back to the Na'vi male - Ta'kamun. I remembered how scared I'd been at first when he'd appeared behind me growling - yes, actually growling - and looking as though he wanted to kill me. But as he seemed to calm down I'd been determined to clean and bandage his wound - I still wondered how he'd gotten that wound, it was huge! I was surprised he could move, not to mention that I'd kinda been expecting that he'd have died of that wound. At first when I'd tried to clean his wound he'd grabbed my wrist, I don't think he meant to hurt me but even so it'd hurt and my wrist had turned bright red. After that he calmed down and let me bandage his wound, as though he had felt ashamed of himself for hurting me. The language barrier had been really frustrating, how do you explain that you'd like to disinfect wounds and apply bandages to it afterwards in Na'vi language? I sure didn't know, but after I'd demonstrated what I meant he'd seemed to understand. I glaced down at the cut on my arm, thankful it was hidden under the sleeves of my T-shirt and the lab coat as well.

I got a hold of myself and changed the slide in the microscope: back to the Pandorian microbes. But I simply couldn't focus. I kept remembering the gentle way he'd pulled me back to him when I'd been just about to leave. While he'd pressed me against his body I'd felt so.. Vulnerable. And my body had been affected by having him that close to me, it was so embarrasing! My cheeks had burned for several minutes. And his smile! Oh, it was so beautiful. He'd smiled only a few times last night, the rest of the time he'd just looked resolute or angry, but that was okay. I'd gotten the feeling that he didn't smile often and it made me happy that he'd smile while he was with me. I felt an urge to go see him again, but of course just to check on his wound. I tried to convince myself not to got, but to be honest it was a horribly pathetic attempt. Once I'd decided that I'd go see him later that night I felt myself calm down and I was able to conduct some research.

I only realized it was dinner time when one of the laboratory specialists - who ranked above me, but below the researchers and professors - came to tell me. I thanked him and we went to dinner together. His name was Gareth - though he preferred Gary. He had red hair like me, and was just as pale. We got along well and since I'd gotten here 6 months ago I'd spent a lot of nights watching movies with him.

As usual we sat at a table with a bunch of soldiers - among them John and Jason who'd both accompanied me yesterday. I loved soldiers, most of them were so straightforward I didn't even have time to be shy, they were so much easier to be around.

The second we joined the table Jason started commenting on my clothes as he always did, and as always he made some rather… x-rated suggestions. I knew he was only kidding, Jason was just like that, but even so I started blushing which caused Jason to grin. "Jason, stop bothering miss Thompson."said John "Aye aye, sir" Jason replied with a smile and started shovelling food into his mouth - Jason always managed to spill more food than he ate. "Geez Jason, could you possible resemble a pig more?" Adrian said while grimazing. Jason replied to this by making pig-sounds and everyone at the table laughed. Sometimes I was convinced Jason only ate like that to annoy Adrian. Adrian sighed and turned to me: "Kitten, have you heard from Sam?"

Adrian was the only one on Camp 761-omega who used my nickname. He'd picked it up while he and Samuel - my best friend and foster-brother - had fought together in a war back on earth. Samuel had named me Kitten when he'd found me in his room playing with a ball of yarn. I couldn't remember the event myself since I'd only been 3 years old at the time, but Samuel had told me I'd played with that yarn all day long and that I'd made him play as well. Sam didn't use the nickname much anymore though, he'd started calling me Clarie instead.

"No, he hasn't replied to my mail yet. But then again, when does he ever? I considered writing him a mail last night but went to bed instead" I said. Samuel had a bad habbit of never answering my mails or text messages unless I was asking him an important question. Some of my girlfriends back on Earth had interpreted this as: He doesn't wanna talk to you. But I knew better.

I'd grown up with Sam and this was a very typical thing for him. Besides, if I ever forgot to write him at least once a week he'd send me a mail himself. Usually I wrote him every day or every second day and called him at least two times a week. I felt kinda guilty for not writing or calling him yesterday since I had no plans of doing so today, but I simply didn't dare to. If I did he'd surely know what I was up to since he knew me so well, and he wasn't likely to let me go into the Pandorian jungle alone at night to meet a Na'vi. If he was here with me he'd probably escort me there, but if he couldn't go with me he'd find a way to stop me from going alltogether.

But even if I didn't mail or call him he just might figure it out anyways. I don't know how, but sometimes Sam just knew stuff. Stuff he had no way of knowing. Once while I was in my senior year of highschool and he'd been in Europe working as a guard at the border between russia and some other country he'd called me all of sudden, he'd just caught me on my way to the bus I took every morning. He'd simply said: "Don't you dare get on that bus! Walk to school and avoid Main Street" then he'd hung up. By that time I'd learned the hard way to always do as Sam said even though it's very frustrating. When I got to school - and was 20 minutes late since I'd had to walk - my classmates told me the bus had crashed on Main Street. I'd asked several times how he'd known, and he usually replied with: "I just knew". Not because he didn't want to tell me but because he honestly didn't know himself.

I'd always considered myself a scientific person. I didn't believe in any religion or supernatural events, but I had no explanation for what Sam could do. And since this "ability" of his had made sure he'd survived participating in several wars I wasn't about to question it.

I spent some time with the others but went back to my room early that night, I needed to prepare. I found my a second set of trekking clothes - I had quite a lot - and put it on. I divided my hair into two braids both hanging down my chest and reaching my hips. Last night I'd just pulled my hair back in a ponytail which had resulted in a ton of plant-stuff being stuck in my hair, so this time I took precautions. I laid out towels, clean underwear and the T-shirt I slept in so that I could run straight to the shower. I also prepared the clothes I would wear tomorrow, trying to save as much time as possible so I could sleep a bit longer. I glanced at the clock: 10.41 PM

The camp didn't "close down" until 11 pm and the last soldiers retreated from their posts outside at midnight, so I couldn't leave before that. What to do untill then? I looked at the window.

Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that? The windows were controlled in much the same way as the outer doors: by computers. They automatically closed and opened. If i could hack into the system - and not to brag to I probably could - and open the windows without it registrering on the main server I'd be able to sneak out through the windows. My windows weren't visible from the guard station so I'd be able to leave sooner if I did it that way, and thankfully the entire campsite only had one story so I wouldn't have to crawl down any walls. Going through the window would also eliminate the chance of accidentally bumping into someone in the hallways - it would be kinda hard to explain why I was walking around with a first aid kit dressed in trekking clothes late at night.

I picked up my computer and as soon as it had started I began hacking into the system. It didn't take me long, we were too far from earth to expect any hackers after all so it was just a standard firewall I had to get through. And security wasn't that tight at 761-omega since we were so few, and no thanators or na'vi tribes were close enough to be considered a threat to our safety. Once I was in the system I could open the windows without any problems. Now all I needed was the medical equipment so I could treat Ta'kamun's wounds. I checked the time: 11.15.

The hallways should be open now, but I'd better make sure. Since I'd already hacked into the server I decided I might as well check the security cameras. The camp looked desserted except from a bunch of soldiers playing cards in their quaters, so it should be safe for me to go out and get the first aid kit from the infirmary. But just to play it safe I took off my boots, socks and donned my long bathrobe and only then did i venture out into the hallways. Soon after I returned to my room with the bandages and disinfectant, I had encountered no problems.

I put my socks and boots back on, made sure everything I needed was in the bag I'd decided to bring - and this time I was bringing a flashlight as well - and then I crawled out my window and ran towards the forrest.


	5. Chapter 2B Back to normal

Here's the second part of chapter 2. Enjoy

Chapter 2.B: Back to normal

I stood on my toes trying to remove the bandages I'd put on his wound last night, it was harder to reach than I'd remembered. This time he'd made no protests against me tending his wound - no growling, glaring or abusing my wrist. He'd simply jumped down from the tree and positioned himself in front of me when I'd entered the clearing.

I still hadn't managed to remove the bandages when Ta'kamun gently pushed me aside. I worried that he'd changed his mind but then he removed the bandages himself. He was being strangely helpful, it was… charming.

"thank you" It was strange that I kept talking to him even when I knew he didn't understand what I was saying, but not talking felt akward. I stepped closer again and took a look at his wound - and gasped loudly. That simply wasn't possible! The day before the wound had been a big hole in his chest about the size of my hand, it'd been open and raw. Now the wound seemed to be nothing more than a big nasty scrape. No one healed that fast.

I was overtaken with curiosity - a bad habbit of mine - and poked the edges of the wound to see if it could really be true. It seemed real enough, Ta'kamun didn't even wince when I touched it. Was this a standard Na'vi trait? Since meeting Ta'kamun I'd realized that I did not know much about the Na'vi, the only thing I'd ever learned about the Na'vis had been from the introduction book given to all the personnel participating in the expedition. That had been before take-off from earth, 6 and a half year ago. At that time the knowledge of the Na'vi - and all other Pandorian things - had been quite limited. None of the reseachers in our camp worked with the Na'vi, we were too far from a Na'vi tribe to do so. There were three tribes that we'd be able to get to, but even the closest of them would require a 3 hour helicopter ride.

Eager to learn more about the Na'vi I looked Ta'kamun over with the eyes of a scientist. I examined how his clothes were much different from any clothes I'd ever seen on earth, except perhaps in history books. His body consisted of all muscle, he was obviously in good shape. He'd been able to carry me up a tree yesterday and at that point he'd had a large injury.

His body was a dark blue, darker than the colour I remembered from the few pictures of na'vis I'd seen, but that could just be a fault in my memory. Even at night I could glimpe small light blue streaks in various shapes and sizes scattered on his body, I realized they must be scars. Was he a warrior? He certainly seemed to have the body for it, not to mention the knives strapped to his body in different places.

Ta'kamun must have gotten impatient while I examined his body. He placed his hand under my chin and made me look at his face. His expression seemed confused. I meant to shake myself of the "scientific mode" but then I remembered something I'd read in the intro book, and I just had to check.

I lifted my right hand and placed my fingers on his lips, which earned me an even more confused look. He reached for my hand but stopped himself before he touched me, guess he must have been worried about hurting me again. He nodded, though I don't think he understood what I was doing he just seemed to give me permission to continue anyways. I pushed my fingers gently against his lips and after a moment of hesitation he opened his mouth.

Wow! The Na'vi actually had fangs. Of course I'd already known this but seeing it for myself was quite an experience. It seemed surreal to see fangs on a creature this humanoid. I pressed my finger against his upper fang briefly just to check how sharp it was and had to remove my finger quickly to avoid making my finger bleed, those fangs were even sharper than they looked.

I grinned and moved my hand close to his ears and flicked my fingers to make a noise. I chuckled when his ears moved.

I felt embarrased for invading his personal space in this manner so I took a step away, but Ta'kamun stopped me by placing his hand on my hip. He slowly guided me into a sitting position and then he sat down on the ground so he was facing me. It seemed he didn't mind my small "examination", in fact his golden eyes seemed to be glazed over with a feeling I couldn't decipher.

I traced the small glowing spots on his forehead and nose with my finger and couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of them. They glowed in a similar way to that of the plants, and while I was busy seeing the beauty of it a small part of me made hypothesees as to why they would have such a trait? Perhaps to camouflage themselves better in the night?

While I was doing this his eyes had closed. I reached for a few strands of his hair, it was long, braided and it seemed to be the darkest shade of black I'd ever seen. The texture was very different from the hair of humans, it was more rough. I sensed Ta'kamun tense and figured I'd crossed some line - I wasn't exactly familiar with the social rules of the Na'vi - so I removed my hand and sat quietly.

Ta'kamun opened his eyes and looked at me with a look I had no clue what meant, it seemed I was no better at understand Na'vi than I was at understanding humans. He reached back and moved all of his hair over his shoulder so I could see it. It consisted of a large number of small braids complete with feathers and pearls, but it seemed that the main part of his hair had been made into one big braid. He took hold of this braid and showed me the end. I looked closely at it, since he clearly wanted to show me something. It seemed to have a different texture compared to the rest of his hair but I couldn't see what it was. Then it opened.

Small pink tendrils moved, seemingly according to their own will but I wasn't sure. It looked like.. Nerves, actual nerves exposed to the outer world. What was the purpose of this? I must have looked absolutely stupid while wondering what on earth this could be, 'cause Ta'kamun started chuckling and his tail moved faster like that of a dog.

… tail? I just had to see that. I moved to my hands and knees so that I'd be able to reach his tail. I grabbed hold of it and slowly pulled it back with me while i returned to sitting on my knees. It felt like pure muscle, twitching even when I held it immobile. It was very fascinating.

I was pulled out of my trance-like state of mind when Ta'kamun wrapped his hand around one of my braids. I met his eyes and he seemed to be asking for permission, I nodded. Afterall it was only fair he'd get to inspect me the way I'd inspected him.

He moved his hand along my braid, it appeared he was just as surprised about the difference in the texture of our hair as I'd been. I moved my hands to the other braid and started undoing it and when he pulled back his hand from my braid I undid that one as well. I combed my hands through my hair trying to make it look somewhat presentable - though I was unable to explain to myself why it was so important for me to look good when I was near Ta'kamun.

His eyes had been following my every movement and when I was done trying to correct my hair he immidiately returned to his inspection. His hands moved through the long, straight and bright red strands and I couldn't help but enjoy it - I'd always enjoyed people petting my hair.

Then his fingers were on my lips and I knew what he wanted. I opened my mouth for him to see, and wondered if he saw me as incomplete since I didn't have any fangs. He grazed to edges of my teeth with his fingers, making me shiver. His touch then moved to my face.

While I had been examining him I had been too busy to notice his body and the fact that he was so close, but while he was inspecting me I couldn't think about anything but the flames his hands seemed to leave in their trail. I didn't understand this feeling, it was so much like desire and yet very different. I'd never felt it and had no word for it, so I was left confused. It couldn't be desire after all, there was no way I could desire a Na'vi. We weren't even of the same species.

I hadn't even realized that my eyes had fluttered closed but when I opened my eyes the first thing i saw was Ta'kamun staring intently at me, his nostrils flaring. He leaned closer to me, putting his hands on either side of me to support himself and then he burried his face in the crook of my neck. This brought him even closer to me and without meaning to I arched my back, closing any remaining distance between us. Why did it feel so good? He growled and I felt his tongue lick the pulse in my neck.

We both scrambled back at the same time, I don't know what his reasons for doing so were, but I was desperate to put some distance between us so I'd be able to breathe and think clearly again. My eyes met his and I noticed the way he was breathing faster as well. I lay down and closed my eyes so I could focus on breathing normally - and so that I'd be able to push away the dissapointment I'd felt when our bodies no longer touched.

I stayed like that for a couple of minutes when I felt something touch my arm. I was certain it wasn't Ta'kamun - since this contact didn't seem to send electric impulses through my body - and so I lifted my other hand to wave it away, it was probably a bug of some sort, but the movement was abruptly stopped when Ta'kamun grabbed my wrist. I opened my eyes and saw that he was on his hands and knees above me.

He wasn't looking at me though, so I followed his gaze and saw what had touched my arm. It looked like a giant dandelion clock but since when we on Pandora it might as well have been an animal. And that did seem very likely, seeing it was moving on its own keeping itself floating in the air. It was actually quite cute and I found myself smiling.

Within the next few seconds the entire clearing was filled with the small flying creatures and they seemed to gather around us. Ta'kamun moved away from me with an amazed expression on his face. I sat up and held up my arms and the small dandelion seeds landed on me. They had a soft glow and the entire clearing became bright. I was amazed at the sheer number of them, not to mention the beauty and I was dissapointed when they floated away after a moment.

I looked to Ta'kamun but his expression was so closed I had no chance of understanding what he was thinking. While I sat on the ground wondering what was on his mind my P-pad started beeping - I'd set an alarm to make sure I headed home in time to get a few hours of sleep. I disabled the alarm and once again looked to Ta'kamun - I couldn't seem to tear my gaze off him - and saw that he was.. Angry perhaps. It kinda scared me.

I debated with myself whether I should bandage his wound, it was almost healed after all and I had to leave. I decided not to, if he could heal a wound that serious in such a short amount of time I trusted that a scrape however big wouldn't kill him. I got up and went to him, I pointed in the direction I was going to signal that I was leaving. He seemed to shake himself of the anger and nodded. I turned around before I lost my will to leave - for some reason I really wanted to stay here with him - but before I managed to start walking he put his hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to face him feeling strangely happy that he'd called me back even though I had no clue what I was expecting from him. He pointed to himself and then in another direction than the one I was going… he was leaving. I realised I'd probably never see him again and felt like crying. But I held it in, feeling sad was irrational after all. I should just view him as a cat I'd picked up on the street and fed and then given back to its owner. He'd never been mine after all, he had a tribe to go back to. Yet I still felt sad.

I forced myself to give him a big, bright smile and even though I'd been determined to just wave at him and walk away, I found myself giving him a hug. After a moment's hesitation he hugged me back and I had to fight hard to keep my tears inside, he whispered Na'vi words to me though I did't understand it at all **"Do not be sad, you should be begging me to leave. It's better this way, I promise you it is. If I stay any longer I'll never let you go."** then he released me and walked away without looking back.

I crawled back into my room through the window, feeling depressed. It couldn't be normal for anyone to feel this sad. I threw myself on top of the bed, I couldn't seem to pull myself together to take the shower I'd been planning.

I looked to my bedside table and saw the phone I kept there. Before I knew it I was dialling Sam's number.

"What?" he sounded tired and disorientated, and I felt guilty for disturbing his sleep. Yet even so I started sobbing the second I heard his voice.

"Sammy… I'm so sorry, I did something stupid and I didn't even tell you. I'm so sorry, I love you, I'm so sorry. But I feel horrible, I don't understand this. " I was blabbering, couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Clarie, Claire what's wrong?" He sounded wide awake now, alarmed by my panic.

I stayed on the phone all night with my Sammy, telling him everything that had happened. My sammy always made me feel better and when it was time to go to work I wasn't that depressed anymore, but I could still feel it burried somewhere deep inside, as though I'd start crying without warning.

So what do you think? Please tell me I'll upload next chapter as soon as possible, but I'm having mock exams now so please bear with me.


	6. Chapter 3 The scars that never heal

Chapter 3: The scars that never heal.

AN: I want to thank everyone who reviewed, it really keeps me motivated :)

With regards to the spelling mistakes, I'm really sorry :S I should be able to spell these words but I tend to write so fast that I just don't notice and my spelling-corrector in word is not functioning. Does anyone know a good downloaded spelling-corrector? Oh, and don't worry, you weren't being too harsh :) I appreciate your help.

This is a very short chapter(at least when compared to the rest of the chapters), but I wanted to introduce Sam and to give some background knowledge on him and Clarissa. Hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: I don't own avatar

Last night my Clarie had called me. She had been desperate and burdened by sorrow, all because of some Na'vi male. My Clarie, my little Kitten, had always been too kind and compassionate for her own good.

For 6 months we'd been apart and so far it had gone well, we were used to it after all -I had joined my first war before she'd even entered high school after all - but now the distance pained me. Thanks to my rank as a Captain I had my own room and thus my own phone so I had been able to call her anytime, but that was no longer enough. Clarie had needed me last night and all I had been able to do was talk to her on the phone. Not to mention that for two nights in a row she'd been out in the Pandorian jungle without any one to attack her and I hadn't even had a clue.

I was sitting in my private room in the headquarters on 001-Alpha and contemplating what to do, everyone else was eating dinner but I had no appetite. I knew what I wanted to do - drop everything and run to her rescue - but what was the right thing to do? Clarie was so fragile, yet she willed herself to be strong. Did she need me there? Yes, that much I knew. Would she blame herself for making me transfer to her camp? Probably, she always tried to blame everything on herself. And of course this was the reason she hadn't even mentioned that she'd like to have me there. Would she need me there in the future, when she had stopped thinking about the Na'vi? I didn't know. She'd want me there, I knew that. But I also knew that I had to give her space, an opportunity to become who she wanted to be. With me around she'd rely on me more than she really wanted to, not that I minded at all, but she was so proud. I would bet everything that she already regretted calling me in the middle of the night, telling herself she was troubling me for no reason. I'd told her many times, but even so she failed to see that for me it was never a problem if it helped her. She was very dense and bad at understanding other people's emotions.

But even though I knew it was probably best for her if I stayed away, I was desperate to go to her. Yet another reason why I shouldn't be near her. I loved her, but not the way a brother - even a foster brother - should love his sister. She was the only one I'd ever allowed to call me Sammy.

Of course she didn't know that I loved her, she was so dense. I knew I'd never have her. First of all the age difference was big, when we'd left earth - and of course we hadn't aged during the cry freeze - she'd been 19 and I'd been 24. She wasn't yet an adult, at least not to me. But I suppose she'd always be my little Kitten to me.

But I knew the age difference was just an excuse on my behalf. The real trouble was that I knew I'd taint her. I was a soldier - violent and aggressive - and I had problem, big emotional problems. That kind of stuff is unavoidable when you see your mother slowly die and wilt away like I had. I simply wasn't capable of maintaining a relationship, I had tried many times - a few times I'd even considered myself to be in love with the girl - but I always ruined it. I couldn't handle the closeness, always thought I might lose the person. For a number of years I'd seen a shrink for my problems, but they ran too deep. Sometimes I feared that just by being near Clarie, I made her problems worse. That I was somehow contagious.

Claries mom had died too, and her dad as well. Her dad had been a marine and has died on duty; Clarie had only been 9 at the time. That alone was very hard on her, but her problems hadn't ended there.

I've known Clarie since the day she was born since our fathers were good friends but I'd always known there was something wrong with her mother - even before anyone else knew. It had been one of the things I just knew and had no reason for knowing. Her mother - Catherine Annabelle Thompson - had always seemed repulsive to me. Everyone else had always believed her to be a loving wife and mother, but I saw the sick way she'd looked at her husband - she had seemed obsessed with him - and the way she'd looked at Clarie had made me sick to my stomach. She'd looked at Clarie but had seen nothing but a little piece of her husband. Whenever I'd gotten the chance I'd dragged Clarie far away from her mother by taking her outside to play or just any place where her mother hadn't been.

I regretted not ever telling my parents about the feeling I got from Catherine, but even as a child I had sensed I shouldn't speak of such thing. But not doing so ended up having tragic consequences.

After the death of her husband Catherine had become crazed but everyone wrote it of as a widow's sorrow. I knew better, when she looked at Clarie she seemed to have some sort of plan, but I couldn't figure out what. One day I actually stole Clarie from her room in the middle of the night, sensing that she was in danger. When my father found out he was furious, I remember hoping that my mother would speak up, would tell father that he couldn't let Clarie go back - my mother had shared my "ability" - but at that point she'd already started loosing herself to the sickness.

Father had delivered Clarie to her house and forbidden me to leave the house and since it was during a summer holiday I could not simply pretend to go to school and then go to Clarie instead. 3 days after my father had brought Clarie back to her mother I'd woken up in the middle of the night, sensing a disaster. At first my father had not believed med but when he saw how desperate and panicked I was he'd driven us to Clarie's house. No one was home, the car was gone. We called the police but they had already been found.

Catherine had driven them directly into the side of a building; she'd died on the spot. Clarie should have been dead as well, but by some miracle she'd survived - hadn't even sustained any serious injuries. Only a small scar on her hip.

After that my father had adopted Clarie and she'd been with us ever since. On the outside it appeared she didn't have any problems, that she was an average girl. But she had scars that reached the very core of her soul. I knew she blamed herself for her mother's death, that she felt she hadn't been a good enough daughter - otherwise her mother would have seen her as a reason to live. And worst of all, I knew she blamed herself for surviving the car crash. She'd told me all these things during her breakdowns - though I was of course aware of them anyways.

She shared my scars, she got scared from loud, sudden noises since they reminded her of the car crash - just as I couldn't stand the smell of lilies, since there'd been so many at my mother's funeral.

She also had a hard time letting people get close. Since the age of 9 she'd only gotten close with me and my father, she simply didn't dare trust anyone else. Yet even so she was very compassionate and felt sympathy for the pain of others, she was always ready to help.

She knew my scars as well, had seen me dump my girlfriends simply because they'd started to know me too well. She knew that I got aggressive when I was frustrated, and knew I still woke in the middle of night bathed in sweat because I dreamed of my mother loosing her sanity.

And the blood. In my dreams there was always blood. Blood from my dying comrades on the battlefield, blood from the enemies I'd killed, blood from the gang wars I'd participated in before I'd joined the army, the blood Clarie had been covered in after the accident, and most of all: the blood-filled water my mother had been sitting in when I found her dead in our bathtub after she had sliced open the arteries in her wrists.

Before I'd moved away from home, I'd go to Claries room after the worst of the nightmares. Mostly I'd just sit in the chair she'd kept in her room and look at her sleeping; it never failed to calm me down. But sometimes, when the nightmares became too bad, I'd join her in her bed and she would awaken and look me in the eyes. Clarie didn't understand people very well, but she understood the pain that comes from irreparable wounds. She'd move closer to me, allowing me to hold her - to feel alive - and then she'd stroke my hair until both of us fell asleep.

Our rooms had been close to each other but far from my fathers. We'd both enjoyed that, that way my father never knew when either of us woke up in the night screaming and crying. Wouldn't hear us comfort each other, trying our best to erase wounds we both knew would never go away.

I sighed and focused on the current situation and leaving the past. Should I go to her? Suddenly I had one of my "impulses" and knew I shouldn't. I didn't like it - I wanted to be there for her - but I _knew_ that I couldn't, that that wasn't how it was supposed to be. I punched the wall hard enough for the plaster to crumble.

But even so I knew better than to go against this knowledge, so I frowned and dialled Clarie's number. Guess we'd have to stick to phone calls after all.

After writing this chapter I almost felt like crying :S what do you think, was it too dramatic?


	7. Chapter 4 Lost Without you

Chapter 4: Lost without you

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avatar universe.

So, I'm really, really sorry that it took me this long to update a new chapter, but life's been tough on me these last couple of months. Thank you for your patience, and all you nice reviews :D and I'd just like to say that I know the age difference between Sam and Clarie isn't that big. I did that on purpose so you guys could clearly see that's Sam's just using the age difference as an excuse because he's scared he'll mess everything up if he tells her how he feels.

But please enjoy this chapter; I'll try to upload soon :)

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" Sam asked

"Sammy, I'm fine - really. I know I've been acting way depressed and such but I'm fine now." I answered while tying on my hiking boots.

"You're lying and we both know it Clarie" he said with that no-nonsense tone he used when he was annoyed with me. I considered denying it, but lying to Sam was useless - he always caught me. I sighed "I'm sorry Sammy; I don't know what's wrong with me and why this whole na'vi thing is affecting me so much. It must be really annoying for you that I call all the time" I laughed nervously

"You know that isn't true Clarie, I'm here for you. I just don't like the thought of you perched on slippery rocks trying to take pictures of 'em damned banshees while you're this distracted. You said it yourself; you have a hard time concentrating." I couldn't help but chuckle at his worries

"I'll be fine Sammy; I've been waiting for a chance to study real Ikrans in their natural habitat ever since I signed up for this programme. I'm sure they'll be able to hold my focus"

He made a disapproving sound "Ikrans, huh? Of all the creatures on this god forsaken planet you just had to choose a flying predator with one hell of a temper. That's just looking for trouble if you ask me. I've seen those banshees Clarie; they're like psychotic dinosaurs on crack!"

"Now you're just exaggerating"

"Wish I were"

I heard a knock on the door and quickly said "gotta go Sammy, I'll call you when I get back. Love you"

I didn't bother hearing his reply before I hung up. I ran to the door and tore it open. Outside my door stood Jason with that big grin that was his trademark "What up sugar? You ready for our date?" he wiggled his eyebrows making me laugh "let me just grab my bag" I answered, still chuckling. Lately Jason had acted even goofier around me; I guess it might have been an attempt to cheer me up.

It had been 3 weeks since I'd seen Ta'kamun for the last time and I'd been strangely depressed since then. I'd tried not to let it show but I'd failed big time. A lot of the others had been asking me what was wrong and I felt bad for making them worried. It was getting a bit better though, probably thanks to my daily talks with Sam. Still missed Ta'kamun though...

But even though I tried not to think about Ta'kamun too much - it always made me sad - I had started learning Na'vi. It made me feel more connected to Ta'kamun and it gave me something to do with my spare time instead of just being depressed. I was fairly good at it, I'm a fast learner.

But today I had something else on my mind: ikrans. I had finally been allowed to go study an ikran nest! I was absolutely thrilled and excited. The ikran nest was approximately 5 hours away by helicopter which was why we had to leave this early - it was only 5:15 AM.

I grabbed put on my bag and started fastenening all the belts and clasps. When I was finally done I grinned at Jason and said "Let's go!" He just looked at me and started laughing. "What'd I do now?" I asked. Sometimes Jason would really confuse me. He shook his head "You fastened your bag all wrong honey" I looked down and sure enough, I'd created a complicated criss-cross of straps and none of them seemed to be fastened correctly. I blushed curiously, scratched the back of my head and laughed nervously "oops"

" 'ere babe, let me do it for ya" Jason stepped into my room and started undoing all the straps. "Honestly sweetheart, it's a miracle that you make it through the day without any major accidents" "yeah, I guess I am a bit clumsy" I answered sheepishly "clumsy? Baby, you're practically a magnet for accidents" I laughed nervously, looked down and blushed even more - I honestly hadn't thought it was possible. It didn't help that I could now see his hands moving the straps expertly across my chest and stomach.

Jason chuckled and finished fastened the straps correctly "It's alright honey" he put his hand under my chin and forced me to look directly into his smirking face. "I think it's adorable" he looked straight into my eyes with an intensity I didn't know what meant. At first I looked into his eyes as well, they were a beautiful hazel, more green than brown but still now exactly green. But this much eye contact was making me uncomfortable and I started looking at his hair instead. It was brown was a hint of red and only a few centimetres long, it curled a bit and I'd always thought it was a shame he kept it this short. If he let it grow just a bit longer the curls would become more obvious. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was still staring at me.

His scrutiny of me was making me even more embarrassed, and desperate to change this tense mood. So I changed the subject "You know Jason, you should let your hair grow a bit longer. Then it would start to curl." A look passed over his face -perhaps disappointment - but after only a second or two his usual smile was again plastered to his face. "Anything for you babe. Now let's get going" he said with a wink and took my hand so he could drag me out of my room. "Ah, wait a second Jason. I forgot something" I quickly ran to my nightstand and picked up a necklace with a diamond ring on it. I fastened the necklace while walking back to Jason.

"Why the necklace? You usually don't wear it for fieldwork" Jason said with a confused look on his face. "I'm always so scared I'll lose it, but it's my lucky charm and I thought it would be nice to bring it" I answered. "Yeah right, just admit that you miss 'Sammy' " he joked. It was probably just me but I thought I heard some bitterness in his voice. I pouted and answered: "well, yeah."

The diamond ring had been a gift from Sammy, and I often wore it. But as Jason had said I usually left it at home when I went on fieldtrips. But today I missed Sam a lot. Besides, it really was my lucky charm and I could use a bit of good luck. I probably wouldn't be allowed to go on another research trip to study the ikrans for at least a couple of months so I needed to collect a lot of good material.

"So Clarrissa, are you actually ready to go now?" Jason said - that big smirk has still plastered on his face. "Yes I am, now stop teasing me" I answered while walking past him. I hadn't gotten far before Jason put his arm around my shoulders and laughed "Oh baby, we're gonna be spending the entire day together and I'll be teasing ya all the time. We're gonna have sooo much fun the two of us" he answered while wiggling his eyebrows. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

_Meanwhile in a Na'vi camp..._

I sat in a tree watching the sunrise, but even that no longer seemed as beautiful as it used to be. So much time had passed since I had seen Clarissa for the last time, and yet I couldn't stop thinking about her. The red shades of the sun rising was nothing compared to the deep, pure red of Clarissa hair and lips. Just thinking about her made me want to run back to her, to find her and make her mine. Frustrated I closed my eyes and clenched my fists trying to defeat this useless urge.

Being parted from her had only made my instinct go even crazier, I had to fight every damn minute of every cursed day to suppress it. It was stupid after all; I could not have such feelings for a skywalker. I simply could not have imprinted on her - I refused to accept this… and being apart was better for both of us anyways. We could not possibly have a future together. Even though I wish it wasn't so. A part of me wished she had been born as one of the people, but… then she wouldn't have been _Clarissa._

I had been on edge ever since I returned to my tribe. I kept longing for Clarissa and wondering what she was doing, where she was and who she was with. Especially the last part never failed to drive me crazy. I was convinced she already had a mate. Sure she was young, but she was attractive and one of few female skywalkers. Perhaps her mate was one of the males she had been with when she found me in the bushes, or perhaps they were her mate's men, who accompanied her to keep her safe. The last seemed likely. A beautiful female such as she deserved a strong leader as her mate.

All these thoughts made me angry and therefore very dangerous to others. Lately I had been starting and engaging in unnecessary fights, and constantly snapping at people. Thus my tribe members had started to avoid me, and that worked just fine with me. I did not want to talk to anyone.

Speaking of the sun… I heard someone climbing up to me long before a voice said: "Ta'kamun, why are you mopping? Come spend some time with me instead." Jira'ee tried to make her voice and movements seducing as she crawled closer to me. There was a time where I might even have thought it was seductive, that she was seductive. But she no longer had any appeal to me, none of the females seemed to. "What do you want Jira'ee?" I asked impatiently. "You, of course." she answered with yet another seductive smile. I considered telling her she was wasting her time, but that would mean admitting to wanting Clarissa, **only **Clarissa. There was no chance of that happening.

"Not now, Jira'ee" I said. Even I could hear the fatigue in my voice. I watched her as she pouted at me; she now sat next to me. Her skin was a light blue - much lighter than my own - and her eyes were a light gold with a hint of bronze._ They couldn't possibly compare to the vibrant green of Clarissa's eyes_. She was tall for a female and had more curves than most. _Not nearly as attractive as Clarissa_. And she knew how to use them to her advantage. Before the incident with the thanator that led to my meeting with Clarissa - I wasn't sure whether to curse of bless that thanator - I had spent much time with Jira'ee.

Unlike many males I had not fallen for her female tricks - I knew she was manipulative - and I had never once considered making her my mate, but I had enjoyed the physical aspects of our relationship - if that's what you would call it. We had both seen other people, though Jira'ee had started thinking she had some sort of claim on me, and apparently she still did. It was starting to become annoying.

"Then when are you going to spend time with me? Ever since you came back three weeks ago you've hardly looked at me, I miss you. "She reached out to touch my face but before she even came close I grabbed her hand."Don't" I simply said, but all it got me was yet another pouting expression. I was really becoming tired of this. I had to fight not to growl at her. I breathed deeply and forced myself to calm down - not that it had much of an effect. I was calmer today than I had been for several days - which was the only reason I had not forced her down the tree yet - and I would not let her ruin this calmness for me.

"Have I really become so unattractive to you that you don't want to spend time with me?" she leaned closer and whispered seductively in my ear "I'll let you choose where and which position, Ta'ka" That was it! I growled and pushed her so forcefully she almost fell down from the tree. "I want nothing to do with you! You will not touch me again Jira'ee, is that clear? And do not refer to me with nicknames; you do not have that right. Now get the hell out of here before I hurt you for real!" I yelled at her. She scrambled back from me with an expression of fear on her face. But it quickly changed to an arrogant expression "fine! But don't come crawling to me when you regret your decision - and trust me you will. "With that she crawled down the tree as fast as possible.

I tried to calm myself, but failed. I roared and sent my fist into the bark of the tree I was standing on with so much force I could feel it tremble and several fruits fell down from the branches to the ground. Doing this gave me some small level of satisfaction and so I did it again and again. When I finally managed to stop I leaned against the tree trunk - which was now filled with dents and the bark was completely ruined. I started taking deep breaths but nothing seemed to be able to calm me. Damn it!

I did not want Jira'ee I just wanted Clarrissa! I heard someone crawling up into the tree and almost hoped it was Jira'ee so I could start a fight with her and get rid of some of my anger and frustration.

But even from this far away I could smell that it was not Jira'ee, it was H'onx my best friend. But even he would not be safe around me in my current state. I stayed with my forehead leaning against the tree trunk. Even just seeing another person right not might send my into a spiral of rage "H'onx, do not come closer. I am on edge" I warned him, unable to keep a growl from slipping out. "Lately you are always on edge" he replied, but even so I could hear that he had stopped moving. The only reply I gave him was yet another growl. I heard him sigh, "Ta'kamun, will you ever tell me what happened to you during those 3 days you were gone" I gave him no reply. "Fine. Some of us are going to go hunting, you should come. Perhaps you could get rid of some of that anger." it was a good suggestion, but I simply did not have the control right now. I was honestly worried I might attack some of my fellow hunters. "Another time H'onx" yet another sigh "I'll see you later then." and with that he was gone.

_"Just like your mate_" my instincts whispered. I let out yet another frustrated roar and prayed for Eywa to make this end soon.

So, what do you think? :) Did you like Jason? I really enjoy working with his character. Things will start escalating from this point, so look forward to the next chapter ;) oh, and please leave a review


	8. Chapter 5 Stuck in a moment

Chapter 5: stuck in a moment you can't get out of

Hi guys. Sorry for the long wait, school's a bitch. Anyways, I really had a lot of problems with this chapter and have been working on it since the end of September! I'm not really satisfied with this chapter, but I couldn't figure out how to improve it and I felt kinda bad for not uploading sooner. So here it is, hope you enjoy and yes, the title of this chapter is a song by u2, a good song by the way ;)

A special thanks to all of you've who've reviewed, favourited and/or written yourself on the alert list for this story. You're what keep me going!

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The helicopters had finally landed after 5 hours of flying and the time was now 11 AM, and I was stiff all over - there really wasn't a lot of space for all 6 of us. Jason, Adrian and Nelson who were all soldiers, Gary - my fellow scientist who had volunteered for helping me with my research - as well as the pilot Stephen who was one of the few tech staffers we had. And of course me.

I had been pretty lucky regarding the people who came with me. I was good friends with Gary, Jason and Adrian and Stephen seemed really nice. I actually knew Adrian from back on earth, since he'd been in a war with Sam and he was in command for this field excursion. I didn't mind Nelson, it was more that he seemed to hate being on Pandora. He was always wary and a bit angry, but that might just be my imagination.

Adrian helped me out of the chopper and I started stretching my limbs in order to restore the blood flow. "Nelson, you're staying here with the pilot. Lock up the chopper and stay inside, we'll be back in..." he looked at me for an answer and I said "umm… I'd like to stay for as long as possible but I guess we shouldn't get back too late. How about we fly back around 4 PM?" "That sounds fine Clarissa. Nelson, we'll be back in 5 hours and you're expected to maintain regular radio contact during this period, is that clear?" "Yes sir!" Nelson said. For once he actually seemed to smile, guess he was happy about staying by the chopper. Adrian nodded at him and said "Alright then, let's get going people" and then we all started walking towards the nest.

We would have to walk approximate 2 km and then climb a number of cliffs in order to reach the Ikran nest. The chopper couldn't have flown us any closer since this was the only clearing near the nest suitable for landing. I was incredibly excited and really looking forward to finally observing the ikrans, and I guess it must have shown since Adrian started laughing.

"Kitten, you look like a small child on Christmas morning." I laughed with him and couldn't help but blush a bit. "What can I say? I've been waiting for this ever since I came to this planet" Gary wound his arm around my shoulders and laughed while saying "Thank you for letting an old man like me join your excursion, it's gonna be great getting out of the lab for a little while." I looked at him and said "I should be thanking you Gary, I could really use your help. And don't call yourself an old man, you're only 32!" he looked thoughtful for a second before saying "well, I guess I'm technically 40 now. I've been on Pandora for two years and before that I spent six years in cryo freeze." "Wow! That really is old!" Jason exclaimed loudly "I'm 22 years old, or 28 if you count the cryo freeze… guess I'm getting old too" he said while grimacing - guess he didn't like the thought of being nearly 30. "Unlike you two I'd like to add the cryo freeze to my age, that way I'll be 25" apparently everyone thought that was hilarious, at least they all laughed loudly. Jason nearly fell over while clasping his stomach and laughing for all he was worth. But even so he managed to squeeze out: "Yeah right! Babe you could never pass for being 25, you can barely pass for 19!"

I blushed and crossed my arms over my chest "what? You don't think I look mature?" I was honestly insulted. I mean, yeah I'm pretty small but still! Adrian was the first one to recover from his laughing and said "Kitten, you are the most adorable girl I know. But that's what you are: a girl. Sorry, but you're not an adult." "I gonna have to agree with Adrian Clarrissa" Gary said, still laughing.

I was practically shaking with withheld anger but I didn't know what to say, so I just started walking again. Besides, if I did say anything I would probably end up crying - that always happens when I'm angry - and no one ever takes you seriously when you're crying. Jason came after me and said "Oh sweetheart come on, they didn't mean it like that! Adrian's your brother's friend after all" I stayed facing away from him - wouldn't want him to see the unshed tears in my eyes - and said "What does that have to do with anything?"

Jason sighed and started explaining "You don't date your friends' younger sisters - ever!" I was just about to ask a question - what did the whole non-dating rule have to do with me looking like a child? - But he beat me to it and said "Therefore, you'll never really be a woman to him, just his friend's cute little sister. And Gary? He's a 40 year old man, his opinion doesn't count."

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard Gary's offended objection, and I could hear Jason laugh behind me as well. "That's the spirit, babe. Besides, even if you won't be able to convince anyone you're even 19 with flashing your ID, I guarantee you that I see you very much as a woman. A very beautiful woman" while saying this Jason had dropped his voice to a seductive purr and turned me around so he could touch my cheek. He had completely thrown me off, and I was too busy feeling flabbergasted and embarrassed to continue being angry.

"That's right Jase; she's practically my little sister so you'd better keep your hands to yourself!" Adrian threatened. Jason threw his hands up in the air and said in a dramatic voice "Oh, a traditional tragic love story! A poor love stricken man - who is by the way insanely handsome, sexy and beautiful -, the love of his life - or well, a really sexy piece of tail - and her possessive kinda-brother!" Adrian rolled his eyes and chuckled at Jason "And what about me?" Gary asked. "Hmm… you can be the old creepy guy who's secretly in love with the sexy girl" Jason answered with that big smile of his "gee, thanks" Gary said sarcastically.

Gary and I exchanged a look - only a few of the staff members in our camp knew that Gary was homosexual. The chance of Gary being secretly in love with me was less than zero.

"Hey hey hey! What's with the secretive look? What aren't you telling me?" Jason practically yelled while waving his arms to get our attention. "Never mind, let's get going" I said and started walking, knowing this would really irk Jason. "Oh come on baby! Tell me please?" the rest of us laughed while Jason continued to plead.

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When we finally reached the Ikran nest I was all bruised and bloody. A clumsy person like me really shouldn't be climbing rocks and jumping over large fallen trees - but it was all worth it.

I was standing on a small FLR - no more than 3 meters long - and enjoying the view. Adrian was standing behind me and Adrian and Gary were standing together on another FLR that wasn't too far away. FLR's were scattered as far as I could see both above and below me, and the Ikrans were flying between, over them and under them using incredible acrobatic manoeuvres. The FLR's were in every imaginable size, some even smaller than the one I was standing on and some at least 5 km long - these big ones were the ones used by the Ikrans for nesting.

The Ikrans were some of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. They looked much like the dinosaurs I had seen in textbooks. Their skin held the most amazing colours and gleamed in the sunlight, their eyes were like liquid gold - and I couldn't help but be reminded of Ta'kamun's eyes. The memory was so strong I had to shake my head to push it back so I could once again turn my attention to the Ikrans.

They were huge! And they were perfect predators: Their shrieks were horrifying, their claws and fangs unbelievably sharp and almost as long as my forearm. They even had structures on both sides of their neck to help them breathe so they could have an optimum intake of air. I was incredibly honoured to be able to watch and study these fantastic creatures.

Unfortunately time was almost up and we had to head back soon, but I just wanted a moment more to admire the ikrans but Jason tapped my shoulder and signalled that we had to leave.

During the time we'd spent at the Ikran nest we hadn't spoken much, didn't want to bring extra attention to ourselves. Thankfully there had been no problems and I had been able to gather a lot of data by videotaping their behaviour, studying their physiology, numbers and of course by studying the eggs found in the few unguarded nests we found. Furthermore I had taken a lot of samples to study when I got back to the lab. So I was happy and satisfied.

I turned around to face Jason and he started fastening my belt to the wires we had hooked to the different FLR's so we could move around, I had taken it off while admiring the view, because it really isn't all that comfortable. While he was doing this I noticed a shadow falling on our surroundings.

I figured it was just another Ikran returning to its nest and was ready to leave it at that, but there was something wrong.

I heard a series of shrieks from the Ikrans, and it was so loud that even without looking I knew that nearly all of the Ikrans had to be shrieking. I covered my ears and groaned - damn it was loud. But even with my ears covered I could hear the sound of hundreds of flapping wings and all of sudden the air was filled with flying Ikrans - Me and Jason would have been knocked over if Jason had not been fast enough to throw us both to the ground. Jason frantically finished fastening my belt and we both looked up at the same time.

I'll never forget that sight. A great lenopteryx (toruk) was sweeping across the sky snapping at every Ikran that came too close. My heart was racing and I couldn't hear anything over the sound of blood rushing through my veins - not even the shrieking Ikrans. And then the Toruk spotted us and set course towards us.

I was frozen in fear and would probably just have stayed still on the ground if Jason hadn't thrown me over his shoulder and jumped off the FLR.

We didn't fall for long before we were held up by the wires we were connected to, and the toruk flew by just above us at an amazing speed. During the fall Jason had let go of me, and I was now dangling from the wires staring at the toruk as if mesmerized, and my heart stopped when I saw that it was turning and coming back to us. Thankfully I had gotten quite far away due to its high speed.

I heard Jason yelling at me but I couldn't seem to really understand it. Only when he forcibly grabbed my chin did I manage to focus on his voice "Dammit Clarissa, listen! That thing's coming back, I need you to climb towards Adrian and Gary as fast as you can. Do you understand?" I dumbly nodded and started to obey his order when I heard shooting and couldn't help but freeze. I really hate loud sudden noises.

I looked to the FLR where Gary and Adrian had been and saw that Gary was lying flat on the ground with Adrian crouching nearby him and shooting at the toruk with a machine gun of some kind.

Jason pushed me non to gently, and I grabbed the wire, swung my legs up and intertwined them over the over the wire and started climbing towards Gary and Adrian. Behind me I could hear Jason shooting at the toruk, but when I started to look behind me to see if it had any effect Adrian yelled at me, saying I should just keep climbing and not look back.

I was just about to do as he said when I realized something: how could Jason be shooting at the toruk and climbing towards Adrian at the same time? He couldn't. I looked behind me despite Adrian's warnings and saw what I had feared to see. Jason was hanging in the wire from his belt using his left hand to hold onto the main wire in order to stabilize himself all the while using his right hand to continue shooting at the rapidly approaching toruk with his hand gun. He wasn't even trying to move out of the toruks's way, he was going to get himself killed!

Jason caught sight of me and yelled at me "Get your butt out of here! Now!" I knew I couldn't save him. Sure, I had a gun fastened to the outer side of my thigh but even when I was at a quiet shooting range my aim was bad, so I had no chance of actually hitting the toruk - despite its huge size - when dangling from a wire. Besides, both Adrian and Jason were actually hitting the toruk, but it only seemed to agitate it further. Its skin must have been too thick for even the bullets to do any serious damage. But I couldn't leave Jason out here to die, but if I stayed I would die with him and well, I liked living. What to do?

I didn't have much time to decide, the toruk was almost upon us and both Adrian and Jason were urging me to climb to safety. But I looked at Jason and knew, just knew that I couldn't live knowing that I'd let him die. So I drew my gun, held onto the main wire with my legs and starting shooting at the toruk while hanging with my head down - after all my aim couldn't possibly get worse.

Jason swore loudly, and Adrian yelled at me. But I only had eyes for the approaching toruk. It was nearly there now. I felt my tears form in my eyes and managed only one coherent thought

_I'm sorry Sam._

I pictured my Sammy with his black year and brown eyes, the professor sitting at his desk. But surprisingly a mental image of Ta'kamun flashed through my mind.

I didn't have any time think about it though. The toruk was upon us.

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uh, a cliff hanger! Don't worry though; I hopefully won't spend that much time on the next update.

Hope you like the chapter, please review


	9. Chapter 6 Save myself before I drown

yeah, sorry about that. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, and please rate and review - and thanks to those of you who've already done so :) The title is taken from the lyrics of "Drown" by Three days grace

oh and: I do not own Avatar.

**Chapter 6 - Save myself before I drown**

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I heard my own short, shrill scream even over the shrieks from the Toruk. The wire had snapped when the Toruk had crashed into us – literally. It had attacked Jason and I was left falling through the air. The fast-moving air around me was making me eyes water and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I didn't have enough air to scream.

I looked up to see the Toruk hurling Jason onto a FLR where he laid limb. The toruk was just about to lunge for him when it changed directions and started shrieking at something higher up in the skies. I tried to look follow its gaze to see what it was shrieking at, but my vision turned black.

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I woke up when I fell through layers of canopy, the branches pierced my skin and the impact from the fall hurt so badly I couldn't think. When I finally managed to assemble to thoughts and try to grab for a branch I crashed into yet another branch chest-first and the world turned black once again.

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The impact when I hit the water surface was enormous and stole the air from my lungs. I saw the air bubbles forming but I just kept falling through the water, unable to fight the forces dragging me downwards and all along I felt the pressure increasing. I hit the bottom, _hard, _and felt rocks digging through my already bruised and battered skin in several locations and for a few seconds the pain created black spots in my vision, rendering me blind.

It took a little while for me to notice that I was being dragged along the bottom by a strong current, and the constant impacts with the rocks were creating even more my cuts on my body. _Sammy will be so mad when he sees all the bruises._ I knew I had to reach the surface or I'd die, already my lungs were burning and my thoughts were getting fuzzy. I fought against the current so I could look towards the surface and felt my courage drift away. It was at least twenty metres up, how was I supposed to do that?

A picture of my Sammy smiling flashed through my mind and automatically my limbs started cooperating to carry me to the surface, but I was barely conscious. I kept swimming upwards but the current was making it nearly impossible, it kept dragging me down. But I kept fighting and slowly I progressed.

The current knocked me into some tree roots near the riverbank and despite the immense pain I managed to hold on to it. Once the black spots no longer filled my vision I started using the roots to climb towards the surface.

I could no longer see, my limbs felt like lead and were moving far slower than I wanted them to, my lungs were burning so much it began to seem tempting to just open my mouth and breathe in even though I knew I couldn't.

Finally I felt my hand breaking through the water surface but before it could grab onto the roots above the water I felt myself losing consciousness and my grip on the root slipped. I knew it was over.

But before I was completely unconscious I felt someone grabbing hold of my hand, and before I knew it I was out of the water. I laid coughing and choking on the river bank when I felt someone hover over me.

I looked up at my saviour but my sight had not been completely restored yet and I dimly I wondered if I'd ever see again so at first I saw nothing, nothing at all. But after a few seconds I started to perceive the light from the sun and then I saw the blue body above me.

I felt myself smiling slightly. "Ta'kamun" I heard myself whisper before I was lost to the darkness.

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"Ta'kamun! Please come down!" Xan'gu yelled

"What?" I replied angrily. My earlier encounter with Jira'ee had left me in a bad mood, even worse than normal. I had spent all day sitting in the tree, and I had no plans to move. And I had no patience for whatever this new hunter wanted of me but he had already started climbing up towards me.

"While we were out hunting we found something and the whole tribe has been called in, the Olo'eyktan says you must come too" Xan'gu said while still climbing towards me, he was no more than a few branches down now.

"Tell my father I will not be attending" I answered and motioned for him to climb back down. "But..." He began but was interrupted when I yelled "GO!"

He looked scared and started climbing down. I turned my eyes towards the sun, it would not be long before it would set and night would come. _Yet another sleepless night_ I thought. I could still hear Xan'gu descending from the tree when suddenly the direction of the wind turned and created a breeze from the forest floor which carried his sent toward me, and with it came another scent. This exquisite scent made every muscle in my body tense, made my breathing change and caused my nostrils to flare. But more importantly, it made my instinct scream for more_. _

It was the smell of snow and delicate flowers; it was the smell of _**Clarissa. **_

Before I knew it I had jumped down and was pressing Xan'gu into the tree trunk while nearly strangling him with my grip on his throat. "Why do you smell of cla... Skywalker?" I growled. "I... That's what I was trying to tell you... the thing we found... a skywalker... the olo'eyktan is deciding... what to do with her..." he managed to say. "Where is she?" I hissed. "In the village... near the council..." I let go of his throat and ran towards the village, leaving Xan'gu to tend to his injured throat.

Clarissa was there, why? Xan'gu said they had **found **her, but where? What had she been doing? Was she hurt? Our tribe was not fond of Skywalkers, no tribe or clan was. The might be deciding to kill her in this very moment. I pushed my body harder and ran even faster.

I broke through the vegetation around the village clearing but stopped when I saw Clarissa lying in the clearing. She was dripping wet, her clothes were ruined exposing too much of her skin and every visible part of her skin has bruised and bleeding. I heard my tribe members arguing, I think someone called my name, but I couldn't make sense of any of it. Clarissa was lying, injured, on the ground. Near her crouched several adolescent males, some poked her skin with twigs.

I was filled with so much rage it felt as though I was about to explode. I barely heard my own frustrated roar but judging by the reaction of my fellow tribesmen it must have been loud. All eyes were on me, and the clearing had become absolutely quiet.

I took no notice of it, instead I walked toward Clarissa. The boys were frozen in place, the fearful flattening of their ears were the only sign that they even saw me coming. When I was no more than a few steps from Clarissa and the boys still had not moved I gave of the most menacing growl I have ever heard myself make.

I felt the eyes everyone on me -even the eyes of my mother and father, the tsahik and the olo'eyktan. I ignored them and knelt down beside Clarissa. Up close I saw all the details of her many bruises and cuts. What had happened to her? At least she was breathing. I had forgotten the effect she had on me, even bruised and battered she was stunning. I stroked her hair and didn't know what to feel or think. I was so relieved that she was here with me, ashamed that I had not protected her, scared that she would not heal. There were too many emotions for me to keep track of. I heard my father's voice: "Ta'kamun, what is this?" And decided to focus on the one emotion I knew had to deal with: Anger.

I slowly looked up and hissed: "Who did this?" the anger was making my breathing shallow and caused my ears to flatten. H'onx pushed one of the submissive males towards me, Kana'u. Like all the other submissives he never fought with anymore. Unlike the dominants, me being one of them, the submissives had no violent impulses. But in that moment I was ready to believe that he had done _this_ to Clarrissa if it meant I got to punish someone.

Kana'u quickly knelt down and averted his eyes. "I was hunting when I saw her fall into the river and I ran to rescue her." He murmured. "You saw her fall. Where from? " I asked with barely contained menace in my voice. He briefly looked into my eyes but quickly stared at the ground again. "I'm not sure, but it seemed she had fallen through the canopy... from the sky." She had fallen from the sky? How could that have happened?

"Regardless of what how she got here, we must get rid of her! The skypeople will come looking for her, and their will kill us all when they do! They are evil creatures that bring nothing but death with them!" H'onx yelled in an agitated voice. I knew of H'onx's aversion to skywalkers, we had fought them together a few years back, but hearing him talk this way about Clarissa, **my** Clarrissa, made me furious. "Get rid of her, how?" I asked, trying to contain my rage. He was my best friend after all. He looked sternly at me "We must kill her". My instinct ran wild. _He'll kill her, harm her! Your mate! You must kill him first. _I have never felt such fury as I did just then, _how dare he threaten Clarissa! _And without thinking I attacked him. We rolled on the ground, I went for his throat and he tried to defend himself. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, I just knew that I had to protect Clarissa from him, even if it meant killing my best friend. In the end it took my father and several of the other warriors to pull us apart. I stood panting, glaring at him, until my father went to stand before me: "What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed. My only response was a growl.

My mother stood to the side, looking thoughtful. "Son, the human is about to wake up". I froze. If Clarissa woke up like this - injured and hurting – in a strange place surrounded by Na'vi's she would be frightened. I started to fight against the warriors restraining me, and they suddenly let go – as if on a signal.

I knelt down beside Clarissa and checked her breathing; it was the same as before.

My mother stepped closer to us – me and Clarissa – despite of my involuntary growl. "How do you know this skywalker female son?" I sensed that everyone was looking at me and I stood up and answered: "She saved my life"

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I hope you enjoyed :) I hope to upload more frequently during the Christmas period (let's see if I actually keep my promises this time) Merry Christmas :D


	10. Chapter 7 Look after you

Pandora – chapter 7

Hi guys... I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am that I took me this long to update :( it's just that I'm so busy with school. This chapter was written rather hastily so please forgive me for any typos but I just wanted to upload the chapter so you guys could read it, 'cause like I said: i feel really bad!

anyway, I hope the long break hasn't scared you away. please enjoy this chapter - and a special thanks to my reviewer, I love you guys!

oh, and the title for this chapter is taken from a song with the same name by the fray.

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The arguing had been going on for much too long now – every minute I spent fighting with the elders was a minute I did not spend on tending to Clarissa. But even so my Father and H'onx did not give in.

"You cannot be serious Ta'kamun! If we let her stay here the skypeople **will** come after her, and they will destroy us in the process! They will destroy the land and kill the People! You know this as well as I, brother." H'onx yelled at me. I noticed the bleeding scratches on his throat that I had placed there when I attacked him, and it caused me to inwardly flinch. I felt bad about attacking my best friend, my brother. But I could not afford to seem weak so I stood tall and proud.

"She saved my life brother – I owe her this." I answered with a steadfast voice. I glimpsed back at Clarissa who was still lying unmoving on the ground and my heart ached. Kana'u – the submissive male who had found had – had placed himself beside her. I could not stop an involuntary growl from escaping my lips, but I knew that he would not harm her. Furthermore, his presence kept away the curious adolescent males who had been poking her with sticks. I forced myself to tear my gaze away from her so I could face my Father.

H'onx and my Mother stood beside him, but strangely she had not said anything for a while. Behind my father stood the elders – old warriors who now served as my Father's council. Most of them looked at me with disapproval, but I did not care. I had to finish this argument soon so I could tend to Clarissa.

"How can we be sure of this son?" my Father's deep rumble asked "How do we know she will not bring death to our clan?" The elders behind him nodded their heads and whispered low words of agreement.

"She won't bring us any harm Father!" I replied with a certainty I hadn't been aware I possessed about her. "You may trust her son, skypeople care neither for the People nor for promises and honour!" Said my Father with a grim expression.

"Excuse me for interrupting Olo'eyktan," we all turned to face Kana'u who still sat next to Clarissa and was speaking with his eyes looking at the ground as was expected when a lower-ranking male addressed the olo'eyktan. "But I don't think she is a bad person. I do not think she'll want to harm us." Though I agreed with him I couldn't help but wonder what made him think that. But my Father asked before me.

"On what grounds do you base this assumption Kana'u?" Kana'u looked towards me for a short moment, but lowered his eyes when we made eye contact. "Olo'eyktan... When I pulled the girl out of the river she looked at me and said your son's name... She seemed genuinely happy to see him" My heart skipped a few beats, but I was unable to determine whether it was because she had been happy to see me or because I had not been there to protect her in the first place. I barely noticed the entire tribe looking at me, as though outraged that she knew my name.

"How does she know your name son?" my Mother asked me. I answered her but kept my eyes on my Father. "I told her."This only seemed to make my Father angrier. H'onx looked at me with disgust.

"That changes nothing. She is still one of the skypeople; she will bring death with her. You may have a debt to repay to this female, but I will not let you risk the safety of our clan members!" My Father yelled.

"Then I won't. Just let the healers on her wounds, and then I will take her far away from here to a place where she can recover." I retorted.

Again my Mother spoke: "You would do this?" I nodded. "How will you provide her with food whilst still protecting her from Eywa's creatures?" I gave her a determined look and said: "Somehow, I **will** make it work."

For a moment no one said anything, and I began to hope that perhaps my wish would be granted. But then H'onx spoke up again.

"Even letting her get in contact with our healers might endanger our people! We do not know what methods they have of locating her, they could be on their way for her this very moment!"

Then the elders starting talking as well – this discussion was going to take a while longer to finish. I lips curled back to display my fangs and my ears lay flat along my face. My patience was wearing thin.

* * *

The first thing I noticed was the pain and the small trickles of warm blood flowing over my skin and coagulating to form crusts that I knew would be a brownish red. It did not feel like I had lost that much blood: I was still lucid (at least I assumed I was) and the blood I felt on me was not of a great volume and it flowed rather slowly indicating that the wounds would soon close up.

The pain was in every part of my body – a deep seated dull ache. I kept my eyes closed. Both to avoid having to see the state I was in, but also because I wasn't quite sure of how to open my eyes.

The second thing I noticed was the light that I could perceive through my closed eyelids. It seemed reddish – perhaps it was sunset?

I guess I wasn't dead then. First of all, because I did not believe in any gods and so to me dead was really dead. But even on the off-chance that some god existed and had allowed me into the afterlife I couldn't help but think that it was rather cruel of that divine creature to let me be in pain and bleeding.

It would have made more sense if I was dead though. I remembered falling through the sky, the lack of air that burned my lungs, and the current in the river trying to pull me apart. How could I still be alive?

Then I remembered a hand grabbing onto me and pulling me up; I remembered looking into a blue face. _Ta'kamun. _I wondered briefly where he was, where **I** was.

The third thing I noticed came when my ears became able to detect sound again. At first it was just the pumping of my heart. It seemed relatively stable and normal, though a bit fast. But I figured that might have been because of the blood loss. Then I heard voices; angry voices, though they seemed somewhat far away. Whoever was arguing wasn't standing right beside me.

I tried to find out who was arguing and what they were arguing about, but I couldn't seem to grasp onto the words much less get them to make sense. Then I realized that it was not English, but Na'vi that was being spoken. Once I realized this I was able to make out a few words that sounded familiar, but my brain wasn't exactly fit for fight at the moment so I still didn't understand a thing.

The fourth thing I noticed was movement near me; body heat flowing across my battered skin. _Ta'kamun. _A big calloused hand placed itself on my wrist – checking my pulse? There was no electric spark. _Ta'kamun? _

The fifth thing I noticed was that one of the angry voices sounded oddly familiar. It sent a shiver down my spine. It was definitely Ta'kamun.

But if Ta'kamun was fighting with someone far enough away for his voice to seem low, whose body heat was flowing over my torso and whose hand was on my wrist?

These questions were what prompted me to open my eyes.

It was harder than I had thought it would be. My eyelids were glued together with dried up blood – at least that's what it felt like – and I couldn't seem to take control of my body. The hand on my wrist went from being loosely placed to being wrapped around my wrist. It gave a small squeeze. I managed to open my eyes.

At first all I saw was the reddish light and I felt myself wince from the brightness of it. Wincing hurt.

When my eyes had adjusted I slowly became able to make out a face.

Blue skin that wasn't quite as dark as the skin I couldn't get out of my mind... Pale gold eyes, bordering on yellow. Nothing like the rich shinning gold I remembered... A nose that didn't have the shape I was unconsciously looking for...

When I was **finally** able to process what I was seeing (maybe I'd lost more blood than I'd initially thought) I realized that the face I was looking into was a male Na'vi, but it was definitely not Ta'kamun.

I swept my gaze over his body and noticed that he was sitting right next to my waist with only a few centimetres of space between our bodies. My eyes lingered on his hand holding onto my wrist which was on top of my stomach. He slowly removed his hand.

I looked into his face again. He had a warm smile and kind eyes. I couldn't help but smile back, even if it made the muscles in my face ache. But he was not Ta'kamun.

I did not mean to say it out loud, but apparently I did. Suddenly the arguing voices died down and everything became quiet. The mysterious Na'vi looked at something past me, towards where the argument had been.

I turned my head to follow his gaze and saw a whole bunch of Na'vi starring at me. But first of foremost I saw Ta'kamun racing towards me, I felt the other Na'vi at my side scramble away.

Ta'kamun arrived at my side and stared into my eyes with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. Then his gaze swept across my body – checking me for injuries? - before returning to my eyes again. He was frowning.

If there had been any movement or talking from the other Na'vi at that moment, I did not hear it. I stared back into Ta'kamun's eyes and lost my breath. The only thing I could hear was the rush of my own blood. I remember hoping that I had lost so much blood I could not blush.

I was broken out of my trance when an older Na'vi male and an equally old Na'vi female came up behind Ta'kamun. Ta'kamun's ears flicked in their direction but other than that he gave no indication that he knew they were there.

I started feeling rather silly just lying on the ground like that, and in an attempt to sit up I put some weight on my left elbow.

It felt like my elbow had been hit by lightening. I feel back down with a small scream and my eyes closed in pain. I felt a hand grab my head before it collided with the ground and the small sparks that emitted from the hand let me know that it was Ta'kamun.

I heard Na'vi talking and guessed that it was the pair behind Ta'kamun.

"She does not appear dangerous" a female voice said, but I did not understand it. Instead I focussed on breathing.

"It is not hear I fear; it is the warriors they will send after her" rumbled the man.

I opened my eyes and accidentally ended up staring into Ta'kamun's eyes again. He looked worried.

"Father, Mother... she is not well enough to travel. Please let the healers see her and allow her to stay... just until she is well enough for me to take her away. Please" I did not understand what he was saying, but it sounded like a plea.

The man looked at me with enough contempt to make me squirm. "We cannot son, she will endanger us all."

Ta'kamun bent his head, closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He seemed defeated and my heart ached for him. What were they arguing about?

The woman looked at me with a look I couldn't decipher. She bent down and took a needle out of her necklace which I hadn't even noticed before. Was my consciousness slipping?

She pricked me with the needle, but I did not feel it. All my limbs seemed to be getting heavier by the minute.

She licked the needle and stared disbelievingly at Ta'kamun. "Why did you not tell us she was touched by Eywa?" Eywa, their deity? What on earth were they talking about?

Ta'kamun's face shot up and he stared back at the woman "I... I did not think to mention it" either his voice was wavering or my hearing was failing. Perhaps both.

The woman with the weird necklace looked at the man standing next to her who wore a surprised face. "She has been touched by the spirits of the sacred tree and our son owes her a favour. Can you make yourself throw her into the forest and have our son die trying to protect her? "

The man looked down with a grim expression "Very well. She can stay" Ta'kamun's face lit up and it felt like a weight had just been taken off my shoulders. "But when she is well enough you **must **bring her back to her own people." Ta'kamun nodded.

Then the man with the scary eyes walked with stiff movements towards a group of Na'vi's, and the woman addressed Ta'kamun.

"Come son, we must get her to my hut so I can attend to her wounds."

Ta'kamun gently lifted me up from the ground and carried me bridal style while he follow the woman.

I seemed to be getting more and more tired, and it became difficult to think straight. My head lolled back a bit and I caught a glimpse of the mysterious Na'vi who had been beside me, he was still smiling. Then I noticed the large crowd of Na'vi people staring at me. Some gazes were friendly, some weren't. My sight was getting blurry.

Accidentally, I locked gazes with a Na'vi male. He was about the same age as Ta'kamun and stood near the man with the scary eyes.

But this guy... his eyes were the scariest thing I'd ever seen and I felt a shiver travel down my spine.

Ta'kamun hugged me tighter and whispered in my ear "It'll be alright, Clarissa." Hearing him say my name made me smile.

Then I slowly succumbed to the darkness, but unlike last time this felt rather pleasant.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it was worth the wait :) please review ;)

and before I forget: the whole dominant/submissive thing I introduced last chapter is mostly inspired by the Mercy Thompson series and I promise to explain it soon :)


	11. Chapter8 Does this make any sense at all

Hey guys! Sorry that it took so long, but exams really suck the life right of people. Hope you haven't given up on this story yet.

Sorry for the short chapter, but I just wanted to make sure you guys didn't forget little Sammy - I'm planning to have a more of him in the story from now on.

The section below is one of Sam's visions, and that is actually really hard to write down since I imagine them as flashing images, but I did my best. The writing in italics is the vision and the normal writing are Sam's thoughts.

Hope you enjoy the chapter, and I own nothing.

Thanks to all the ones who favorited this story, put it on their alert list and especially those of you who have review!

Title is from the song called "Best mistake" by Jamisonparker - awesome song!

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_Shrieks…. Something's in the air…beating of wings... eyes of a predator_… what's going on?._.. the sun… rocks… a rope of some sort cutting into sore hands… large noises… a bullet flying out of a gun… air… wind… something green… a splash… rapid blue, raging blue, ravenous blue..._water?_… yellow eyes…_(The image gets calmer, less panic)_… smell of herbs… a body on the ground… _who?_ Red_ … blood. No, hair_…. Red hair in tangles on the ground… Cerulean hands… _Na'vi_… pale skin, bruised all over… shiny ring on a necklace..._I'd recognize that ring anywhere_… fluttering eyelids… _Clarissa?… (The image gets clearer now, steadier)_…Clarissa on the ground, bleeding… _What happened? Where is she? The image is calm but my panic rises_… similar sense of unease… _From the image?_… Na'vi in the corner, staring at her… at Clarrissa… the image gets fuzzy…_ NO! I have to see more, have to save her!… I fight to hold on to the vision, but I don't know how_…flashes of images… feathers… ground of dirt…voices... walls of… _ it slips through my fingers…

I shot up straight in my bed with a killer migraine pounding through my head, gasping for breath and instinctively reaching for the gun under my pillow. I scanned the room, but nothing seems amiss. I glanced at my alarm clock, 11 pm; I went to bed just half an hour ago. What woke me up? _Red hair in tangles on the ground… shiny ring on a necklace… _

Clarissa! And just like that it all came back to me. It wasn't a dream, it was one of my impulse, visions if you'd like. I knew because it had consisted of fleeting incomplete image and sensations that I couldn't pinpoint exactly. Mostly I had precise "flashes" like déjà vu's or instinctive knowledge I hadn't know I'd had, and I'd know not to step on that specific step on the stair because if I did it'd break. But sometimes I also had these visions where everything was unclear and they always left me with an incomplete idea of what my sixth sense had been trying to tell me, it was kind of like a puzzle with 99% of the pieces missing. I never knew if it was past, present or future - or if it was never going to occur at all. I always just let these visions slip by, never tried to make any sense of them since I had learned early on that it was impossible to get them to make sense. But this time it had been about Clarissa, so I'd tried to hold onto the vision, and yet it had slipped right through my fingers. And now I was left with a migraine bad enough to cloud my thoughts. Coincidence? I think not.

I grasped my forehead and tried to clear my head - I needed to think. Just as I was beginning to get the migraine under control, the phone by my bedside rang and without thinking about it I picked it up while cursing at how it made my head hurt.

I recognised my father's voice immediately but had to struggle to really grasp what he was saying. But when he said "Clarissa's gone missing in the Pandorian jungle" with a hint of panic in his voice, the message got right through.

My heartbeat sped up like never before and I instantly knew that what I had _seen _was either already happening or going to. Meaning that Clarissa was either already hurt, or going to be hurt. Suddenly I was perfectly capable of shoving aside my migraine - adrenaline works wonders.

"Samuel? Are you there?" my father asked. "I'm here." I said in a clipped voice "Get me transferred to your camp. Now" With that I hung up the phone and started packing my stuff with jerky movements. Clarissa was lost on Pandora. I had lost good soldiers after just a couple of hours alone in the Pandorian jungle. What were the chances of my little Clarie even…? No, I wouldn't finish that thought. Clarissa was alive, she had to be. I would leave the paperwork about my sudden transfer to my father, and as soon as I got to their camp I would take over the search for her. And I would find her alive and well. Anything less was not an option.

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thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Please review :)


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